Sol 5.6

  1. My only concern is for the deacon—

    none but him my burning grief, none but him my anxious care.

  2. What a billy goat I lost in him! Seldom

    do you see his like among the goatherds.

  3. Anchored beside the dining board, he is reck—

    oned as nothing less than one of the steadfast mountains.

  4. Laying into all that lies near him and all that lies afar—

    just as women do at wedding feasts;

  5. scattering among the greens whatever

    his hand extracts from between his molars;

  6. tossing bits of gristle from his mouth into the plat—

    ter, until he takes them back and starts all over;

  7. stashing some of his mucus in handker—

    chiefs: hidden hoards whose counterparts are bells;

  8. leaving phlegm upon the rim of the cup,

    resembling savage beasts upon it.

  9. You two, greet the cheeks of my friend Abu Mu—

    sa with a razor, if you wish—or razors.

  10. Never have we seen another monastery deacon

    with farting itself getting ready for Mass.

  11. Woe to the chalice of Mass from his mouth! How often he sh—

    its from his mouth all around the chalice!

  12. That heavy brute, weighed against Mount Radwa

    in weight—or even surpassing it in the balance;

  13. the very root of ill omen, whose claws good for—

    tune uproots from their very roots;

  14. the owl’s match in backside and character:

    among birds she is his counterpart among men.

  15. Clad in a garment of disgraces—for God has clo—

    thed him in the most disgraceful garb.

  16. Noses seek refuge from his two extremities:

    his arse is farting, and his mouth is a farter.

Sol 5.6