ألا قُل لنحويِّكَ الأخفشِ
أنِسْتَ فأقصِرْ ولم تُوحِشِ
O grammarian al-Akhfash, listen!
You were friendly, so be brief and do not alienate.
وما كنتَ عن غيَّةٍ مُقصِراً
وأشلاءُ أُمك لم تُنْبَشِ
You have never been remiss in your love.
Nor have your mother's ribs been smashed.
تحدّيتَ صَلّاً وفي نفْثه
نذيرٌ فأقلِع ولم تُنهش
You challenged me to a duel, and in your breath
Was a warning, so stop and do not tear me apart.
أبا حسن إنّني سائلٌ
فأعدد جواباً ولا تَدْهش
Abu Hasan, I ask you—
Prepare an answer and do not panic.
أليسَ أبوك بني آدمٍ
فأنَّى طُمسْتَ ولم تُنقَش
Is not your father a son of Adam?
So how can you be blotted out and not engraved?
ولمْ جئتَ أسودَ ذا حُلكةٍ
ولم تأتِ كالحية الأرقش
Why did you come black-skinned
Rather than piebald like a sand grouse?
لقد غُشّ فيك أبٌ غافلٌ
فما دُهمةٌ فيك لم تُغشَش
You were cheated by a heedless father.
No blot in you went unblackened.
أبٌّ ذو فِراشٍ ولكنه
لأيِّ البرية لم يُفرَش
A father with a bed, and yet
To which desert was he not bedded?
أما والقريض وأسواقه
ونَجْشك فيه من النُّجَّش
By the poems and their markets
And your bargains among the hagglers,
ودعْواك عرفان نُقَّاده
بفضلِ النَقيِّ على الأنمش
And their claims, recognized by the critics
For the excellence of the sincere over the faulty.
لئنْ جِئتَ ذا بَشرٍ حالكٍ
لقد جئتَ ذا نسب أبرش
If you came light-skinned, that would be your nature,
But you came of bright lineage.
وما واحدٌ جاء من أمه
بأعجب من ناقدٍ أخفش
No one came from his mother
Stranger than the critic Akhfash.
ألا يا ابن تلك التي كارمتْ
أيورَ الزناةِ ولم تَرتش
O son of she who whored
With the adulterers and took no bribes,
وأضحتْ تَعِيرُ مع العائِري
نَ في زُمرة البَقَش الأبقش
Who now mocks openly
Among the vilest of outcasts,
ولمْ لا تَعيرُ ولم تضربُوا
عليها حجابَ بني دَنقَشِ
Who was not veiled or punished
By the robes of the Danqash.
ولم تحرسوا خَلَواتِ استِها
برقبةِ زَخْشٍ ولا خُتَّش
Her privacies were not guarded
By the neck of a eunuch or a castrate.
فما ظَنُّكمْ بالتي لم تزم
مُ يا للرجال ولم تُخْشَش
What did you think of one who never reined in
Her lust for men or felt shame?
أليستْ تسيرُ على وجهِها
بسيرة سَيْدوكَ أو دَنْهش
Does she not go about
Like a lustful Sa'id or Danhash?
وأنَّى تعفُّ وفي طيزها
سعيرٌ يهرُّ على الحُشَّش
How can she be chaste when in her rear
A blaze rages over the bushes?
تظلُّ إذا قلَّ قثَّاؤها
تَموشُ البقايا مع الموَّش
When her twat's vermin sleep,
The remnants seethe like fermented booze.
تُناك ودَيُّوثُها نائمٌ
يَفُشُّ الفُسَيّا مع الفُشّش
She cuckolds her husband, saying to him
as he sleeps, "Feign ignorance, as if in a sheep pen!"
وكم جَاهَرتْه وقالت له
تَغَافل كأنَك في مَرْعش
When she desires, she does not fear his wrath,
For the virile one is just like her, aroused.
إذا ما احْتشتْ لم تَخف سُخطَهُ
لأن الفتى مثلها مُحتش
What do they copulate with but an old hag
Who has submitted to every submitter?
وماذا ينيكُون من شيخةٍ
قد استكْرشَتْ كلَّ مُستَكرَش
Her ass is covered by a rag—inevitably
Like wool on lice it cannot be rid of.
كسا طيزها شمطٌ لابدٌ
على القمل كالصوف لم يُنْفش
If she is mentioned, her mention
Is not easier than the stench of a corpse.
إذا ذُكرتْ لم يكن ذِكرها
بأيسر نتناً من المَنْبَش
My excuse, son of her who does not cease
To be mounted like a fluttering bird,
عذيري من ابن التي لم تزل
تُقلَّبُ كالطائر المَرْعش
Is that daily they long for some debaucher
Like a dove for its nest.
لهما كلَّ يوم إلى فاسقٍ
حَنينُ قطامٍ إلى جَحْوَش
Until he saw in her vagina a longing
For fucking like that of a she-goat in heat.
إلى أن قَرى في حشاها الزَنا
حنيناً من الرنَش الأرنش
Your black mother brought you,
A baboon in the heat of her bed.
أُسَيْوِدُ جاءَت به قردةٌ
سُوَيداءُ غاويةُ المفْرَش
She brought you in the blackness of her cunt
With ears the color of apricots.
أتتنا به في سَواد استها
وأذناه في صفرة المشمش
Huge as a hearth, a leader
Tall and unharmed.
عظيمَ كَشاخِنةٍ قائداً
طويل السلامة لم يُخدَش
As if the years of insult upon him
Were the dawn against the deep night.
كأن سنا الشَّتم في عرضه
سنا الفجر في السحَر الأغبش
Listen to her stories awake,
For you are stupidly oblivious.
تسمَّعْ أحاديثَها صاحياً
فإنك من حُمقٍ مُنْتَش
Did your mother bring you from a slave girl?
Then if you are blind, do not blink!
أتت بك أمك من أمةٍ
فإن كنت أعمى فلا تطرش
Do you eat from me and when sated
Still drink from me and remain thirsty?
أتأكُلُ مني ولمّا تَجُعْ
وتشربُ مني ولم تَعْطش
Your blame is deserved and excellent;
We have conveyed it to you ahead of informing.
ولؤْمُكَ لؤمٌ له فضلُهُ
رَوَيناهُ قِدماً على الأعْمش
It was clear though the sun had set
And dark though night had not thickened.
تَبَيّنَ والشمس معدومة
وأظلمَ والليلُ لم يَغْطَش
I say: there came to me that
He will copy my satire with other satires.
أقولُ وقد جاءني أنه
ينوشُ هِجائي مع النوَّش
When fate reverses its laws,
The weakest of men strikes harshest.
إذا عكس الدهرُ أحكامَهُ
سطا أضعفُ القوم بالأبطش
By the one who colored you black—
The darkness of night and the blindness of mist—
أما ومُحلِّيك بالأسوَدَي
ن لون الدُجى والعمى الأغطش
You will confess satires that show you
Your death though you live luxuriously.
لتعترفنَّ هجاءً يُري
ك مَوْتك عيْشَك في العُيَّش
Gently, I will visit you in your bed
And flow as is your habit, unhindered.
رويداً تَزُرك على رِسلها
وتَجري كعهدِك لم تُنكش
When they hear it, your mocking verses
Will laugh, though you show no joy,
قواف إذا أنت أُسمِعتهما
ضحكت إليها ولم تَبْشش
Like the mule who brays when the pilgrim passes,
Though the pilgrim does not rejoice.
كما ضحِكَ البغلُ لوَّى الزيا
رُ جحْفَلةً منْه لم تهشش
You will go proudly riding it,
Though you are the lowest of outcasts.
تروحُ بها سيداً نابهاً
وإن كُنتَ في الوَبَش الأوبش
You profited and caused me loss.
You shot arrows and I was hit by arrows.
ولهفي ربِحتَ وأخسرْتني
نَبلْتَ وطشتُ مع الطيَّش
In sleep I had relief,
But you stumbled and did not revive me.
وقد كان في الحلم لي فُسحةٌ
ولكن عثرتَ ولم تُنعش
I am quit of whoever envied me
And did as he wished with impunity.
وإنّي لمِبْرىً لمن كادني
وما شِئتَ من صَنعٍ مِريَش
Tomorrow my words will be icy daggers
That will wound—so unsheathe and slash!
أحينَ غدا مِقْولي مبرَداً
حجشت شباه ألا فاجْحَش
Do not try to endure your brother's forbearance,
For his arrow will not miss you.
أُخيَّك لا تستطِش حِلمَهُ
فما سَهمُهُ عنك بالأطيش
You set upon the thorns of his dispraises
Though their thorns cannot be uprooted.
عرضْتَ لشوك قتاداته
وما شَوْكُهُنّ بمستنقش
Tomorrow the critics will gather
To skin, not adorn, the lamb.
غدا الحارِشُون معاً للضَبا
ب لا للمُقرَّنة النُهَّش
And I will make you among them
Target for snakes amid their hissing.
وأغداك حَيْنُك من بينهِم
لحرش الأفاعي مع الحُرَّش
You are their ass, accustomed to it,
Yet your circumstance was not readied.
وأنت قليب لها مَستقىً
ولكنَّ جالك لم يُعرش
Witty, at ease with subtlety,
Yet ignorant, in a desolate place.
ظريفٌ وفي الظُرف مستأنسٌ
وفي الجهل موضعُ مستوحش
And I was told that you are enraged
At the heat of my satire and frenzied.
ونُبِّئتُ أنك في مَلطمٍ
لحرِّ هجائي وفي مَخمَش
Yet you are accustomed to such,
So how did you wilt like withered plants?
وأنت المعوَّد أمثالها
فأنى نَفَشْتَ مع النُّفَّش
You were duped by a flash, warning
Of a lightning strike of blazing embers.
غُررت ببارقةٍ أنْذَرَتْ
بصاعقةٍ من لَظى مُحْمَش
I see you thought it deception
And were struck down, by my life, without being deceived.
أراك توهَّمتَها بُغشَةً
صُعِقتَ لعمري ولم تُبغش
Not everyone whose mother whored
Was exposed to the most disgraceful.
وما كل من أفحشَتْ أُمُّهُ
تعرَّض للقذَع الأفحش
