قالوا ابنُ يوسفَ مستوهٌ فقلتُ لهم

قُلتم بظنٍّ وبعضُ الظنِّ مكذوبُ

They said the son of Joseph is even-tempered, so I said to them,

You said that out of speculation, and some speculation is untrue.

قالوا ألستَ تراهُ يا أبا حسنٍ

فَخْماً له قَصَبٌ ريّانُ خُرعوبُ

They said, Don't you see him, oh Abu Hasan,

With a nose like a reed filled with robes of honor.

في جثةِ الفيلِ مَكْنياً بكنيتِهِ

ولا محالةَ أن الفيلَ مركوبُ

In the body of an elephant with his frame,

And inevitably the elephant is ridden.

لا سيما وله وجهُ به قحةٌ

وعارضٌ كجبين الطير مَهْلوبُ

Especially since he has a face with pimples on it,

And a forehead like the forehead of a molted bird.

وحوله غِلمةٌ شُقْرٌ طَماطمةٌ

كلٌّ طويلُ قناةِ الظهر مَعْصوبُ

And around him are ugly, freckled servants,

Each with a tall backside that is tied up.

فقلت في دون هذا الأمر بيِّنةٌ

للمُستدِلِّ وعلمُ الغيب محجوبُ

So I said, in this matter there is clear proof

For one who deduces, though the unseen is veiled.

ويحَ ابنِ يوسفَ ليت الويحَ عاجَلَهُ

فما يُدانيه في بلواهُ أيوبُ

Oh the son of Joseph, I wish adversity would hasten to him

For none can match him in affliction, not even Job.

الحرُّ يضربُهُ والعبدُ يضربُهُ

إن الشقاءَ على الأشقَيْن مصبوبُ

The free man strikes him and the slave strikes him,

Misery upon the most miserable has been poured.

مَسَّاه بالضرب عبداهُ وصَبَّحهُ

بالضرب حرٌّ من الفتيان مشبوبُ

His slaves have touched him in the morning with beatings

And in the morning a free man from the youths has whipped him

للَّه درُّ ابن بسطامٍ وصولتِهِ

يوم استهلَّ عليه منه شُؤبوبُ

Praise be to Ibn Bustam and his arrival,

The day he loosed upon him the calamity.

مازال يضرب منه يوم صادَفَهُ

زيداً وزيدٌ بحكم النحو مضروبُ

He kept beating him the day he caught him,

Zayd - and Zayd grammatically is in the accusative case.

ضرباً وجيعاً سوى ضربِ العبيد لهُ

والضرب ضربان مكروه ومحبوبُ

Beatings and pain, apart from the beatings of slaves,

For beatings are of two types: hated and loved.

لا قُدِّستْ من أبي العباس جاعرةٌ

ماء الفَياشل منها الدهر مسكوبُ

No part of Abu Al-Abbas Ja'ra was left holy,

The water of her burst from it, and the time has been poured.

فاضت مَنِيّاً وسلحاً يوم عزَّرها

سوطُ ابن بسطامَ حتى السوطُ مخضوبُ

It gushed forth urine and weaponry the day he disciplined her,

The whip of Ibn Bustam until the whip was bloodstained.

يا من يُحاذرُ منه فَرْطَ بادرةٍ

عند الخطاب لها حَرُّ وأُلهوبُ

O you who fear the excess of an impetuous attack

From her when addressing her, both free and aflame!

إذا تطاوَل يوماً في مُطالبةٍ

فكَنِّهِ يتطامنْ وهو مرعوبُ

If he transgresses one day in demanding,

Reproach him, though he is terrified.

وذاك أن أبا العباس غادَرَهُ

وقلبُه أبداً ما عاش منخوبُ

That is because Abu Al-Abbas has neglected him,

And his heart has never while alive been downcast.

يُضحي ويمسي قراعاً من قَوارعه

كأنه بترات الخلق مطلوبُ

He rises and sleeps fearing his severe punishments,

As if he were the epitome of those sought for punishment.

يُكْنَى فيرتاع من تمثيل كنيتِهِ

له ابن بسَطام إن الشرّ مرهوبُ

He uses a nickname but shudders at the portrayal of his nickname,

The son of Bustam frightens those of evil deeds.

وسائلٍ ليَ عنهُ قلتُ مختلقٌ

لكنّهُ بهناتٍ فيه مثلوبُ

I have excuses for him, though he is embroidered with them,

Tall and wide but without reason or manners.

طولٌ وعرضٌ بلا عقلٍ ولا أدبٍ

فليس يَحْسنُ إلّا وهو مصلوبُ

He cannot be good except while crucified,

Nor benefit except while prostrate, with a hot iron on his face.

ولي ينفع إلّا وهو منبطحٌ

تحت الغواة لِحُرِّ الوجهِ مكبوبُ

A long spear but in its flanks

Are various thorns, so a tube is better than it.

رمحٌ طويل ولكن في جوانبه

شتّى وُصُومٍ فخيرٌ منه أُنبوبُ

An elephant, but lighter than it if weighed

In wisdom and knowledge, not in body, is a raven.

فيلٌ وأَوْزَنُ منه لو يُوازِنُهُ

في الحلم والعلم لا في الجسم يَعسوبُ

If only the son of Joseph's conversations were collected,

For it is a good door with holes punctured in it.

وَدَّ ابنُ يوسفَ لو جُبَّتْ مذاكِرهُ

وأنها باب نيك فيه منقوبُ

I wish the gap that has led him astray had for him

Abu Al-Abbas' vulva sewn shut!

ياليتَ ثَفْرَ التي أدَّتْهُ كان له

وأنَّ أير أبي العباس مجبوبُ

So there would be for him two doors, the vulvas

Of the burst bubble, both of them and the doubts.

كيما يكونُ له بابان تدخلُهُ

عُجرُ الفِياشِ من البابين والحوبُ

The runt will know that I will not leave him

Until his trunk is bent with cursing.

سيعلم الفَدمُ أني غيرُ تاركهِ

إلا وخُرْطومُهُ بالشتم معلوبُ

I presented my praise to him, but he made light of it,

Though my praise among the people is desired.

عرضتُ حمدي عليه فاستخفّ به

وإن حمديَ في قومٍ لمخطوبُ

And praise does not come from one whose only concern

Is a thick penis, both edible and potable.

وما المحامدُ ممن جُلُّ همّتِهِ

أيرٌ غليظٌ ومأكولٌ ومشروبُ

Zayd remains, while the slaves of God debase him -

Be content with that while the object is in the accusative case!

زيدٌ يظل عبيدُ اللَّه يخفضُهُ

أعجِبْ بذلك والمفعول منصوبُ

Or is it an insult, oh Abu Al-Abbas, that you know,

For which you are insulted amongst the people?

هل سُبّةٌ يا أبا العباس تعلمُها

إلا وأنت بها في الناس مسبوبُ

Or a flaw, the day you meet God, you are commissioned with it,

When you are patient with accusations?

أم نُدبَةٌ يومَ تلقى اللَّه أنت بها

عند اصطبارك للتطعان مندوبُ

You were called Ahmad the wronged, but you are not,

Rather the names have been inverted.

سُمِّيتَ أحمدَ مظلوماً ولستَ به

كلّا ولكنْ من الأسماء مقلوبُ