تمنّعَwithheld itself عنfrom جفنيّmy two eyelids نومٌsleep تمــــــلمــــلَgrew restless
تمنّعَ عن جفنيّ نومٌ تمــــــلمــــلَ
وهبّand rose مؤلّباًinciting عليّagainst me فراشيـــــــــــهْmy bed
وهبّ مؤلّباً عليّ فراشيـــــــــــهْ
Restless sleep withheld itself from my eyelids,
Sleep evaded my eyelids and tossed
And rose, inciting my bed against me.
Restlessly upon my bed it crossed
فقـــلـــتُso I said لهto it لمّاwhen أطـــــالَit lingered وملمـــلَand unsettled me
فقـــلـــتُ له لمّا أطـــــالَ وملمـــلَ
ألاwill you not لِنــتَyou relent رأفةًout of pity ورفقاًand kindness بحاليــــــــهْfor my plight
ألا لِنــتَ رأفةً ورفقاً بحاليــــــــهْ
So I said to it, when it lingered and unsettled me:
So I said, as it lingered and tossed some more
Will you not relent, out of pity and kindness for my plight?
Have mercy and be gentle with my state
فقالso it said بجـفْنيكin your two eyelids أرىI see ذاthis المولــولwailer
فقال بجـفْنيك أرى ذا المولــول
الذيwho كلّماwhenever أطلّhe appears شقّhe makes difficult بقائيــــــــهْmy staying
الذي كلّما أطلّ شقّ بقائيــــــــهْ
It said: In your eyelids I see this wailer,
It said, in your eyelids I see the rolled up
Who makes it hard for me to stay whenever he appears.
Whose unending expansion brought my decay
فقلتُso I said هوit is العمرlife إذنthen ظنُّهhis thought بــأنthat
فقلتُ هو العمر إذن ظنُّه بــأن
ننيI (word continuation) بتُّI spent the night خالياًalone فأمّso he sought جفونيـــــــهْmy eyelids
نني بتُّ خالياً فأمّ جفونيـــــــهْ
So I said: It is life; his thought, then, is that
So I said, it must be life itself that assumed
I spent the night alone, so he sought my eyelids.
I had withered, to tire my eyes in this way
أمor الظنّthe supposition أننيthat I عجزتُI failed وحيلـتيand my resourcefulness
أم الظنّ أنني عجزتُ وحيلـتي
فناديتُso I called فانتخىso he rallied proudly ولبّىand he answered ندائيــهْmy call
فناديتُ فانتخى ولبّى ندائيــهْ
Or does he think that I and my resourcefulness failed,
Or did it assume that I've weakened, disabled?
So I called, and he rallied proudly and answered my call?
So I called and it obeyed my beckoning sway
وإنْand if كنتI had ناديتُI called فلستُthen I am not بمؤمنٍa believer
وإنْ كنت ناديتُ فلستُ بمؤمنٍ
لعمرٍin life ولستُand I am not أستغيثُI seek help شقائيهْmy misery
لعمرٍ ولستُ أستغيثُ شقائيهْ
And even if I called, I have no faith
And if I called out, I am no believer
In life, nor do I call on my misery for help.
In a life whose afflictions make me their prey
وأغلبand the strongest ظنّيmy suspicion انّهthat he جاءcame لائمــاًreproaching
وأغلب ظنّي انّه جاء لائمــاً
مُعيباfinding fault بwith(لوكنتَif you had فعلتَyou did) فِعاليـــهْmy deeds
مُعيبا ب(لوكنتَ فعلتَ) فِعاليـــهْ
And I think he most likely came reproaching me,
And I sense it has come to blame and accuse
Faulting my deeds with "If you had done..."
With "if only you had" and "why didn't you" say?
كعادةas is the habit of كلّevery فاسقٍsinner حينwhen يرجعُhe returns
كعادة كلّ فاسقٍ حين يرجعُ
رجعتyou returned لتحصيْso you may tally وتعدّand you count ذنوبيـــهْmy sins
رجعت لتحصيْ وتعدّ ذنوبيـــهْ
As every sinner does when he returns,
As is the custom of each sinner when he returns
You returned to tally and count my sins,
To count your sins and transgressions and weigh
عذولاًreproachful ككلّlike every كافرٍunbeliever حينwhen يُبعــثُhe is resurrected
عذولاً ككلّ كافرٍ حين يُبعــثُ
وعلّand perhaps النجاةَdeliverance تُسْتقىmay be drawn منfrom جوابيهْmy answer
وعلّ النجاةَ تُسْتقى من جوابيهْ
Reproachful, like every unbeliever when resurrected,
Disdainfully like each disbeliever when resurrected
And perhaps deliverance may be drawn from my answer.
And salvation is grasped in the answers we relay
وعدتَand you returned لتجأرَto cry out بأنّكthat you قدindeed ظُلـــِـــمْwronged (verb continued)
وعدتَ لتجأرَ بأنّك قد ظُلـــِـــمْ
تَyou (verb ending) اذsince كنتُI was حظّكَyour lot وكنتَand you were كتابيهْmy book
تَ اذ كنتُ حظّكَ وكنتَ كتابيهْ
And you returned to cry out that you had been
You've returned to lament your perceived injustice
Wronged, since I was your lot and you were my book.
Though you were my fate and my book, I'd say
وتعزوand you ascribe إليّto me دونexcluding غيريanyone other than me شبابــَكyour youth
وتعزو إليّ دون غيري شبابــَك
المضاعsquandered هباءًin vain! أوor ليسَis not شبابيهْmy youth؟
المضاع هباءً! أو ليسَ شبابيهْ؟
And you ascribe to me, to no one else, your youth,
And you blame me alone for your wasted youth
Squandered in vain! Or is it not my youth?
Vanished into nothing! Or was it not my day?
غلــوتَyou exaggerated وربّيby my Lord إذْwhen وصفتَyou described وعلّـنيand perhaps I
غلــوتَ وربّي إذْ وصفتَ وعلّـني
أبــوحُI speak openly بماof what فيهin it شفاءُhealing جراحيـــــــهْmy wounds
أبــوحُ بما فيه شفاءُ جراحيـــــــهْ
You exaggerated, by my Lord, in your portrayal; perhaps I
You've exceeded, by God, in describing me
Will speak of what holds healing for my wounds.
As confessing what would heal my wounds' decay
فإنّكfor indeed you إذwhen تــــقدمُyou precede كلّevery مــــــــلمّــــــةٍcalamity
فإنّك إذ تــــقدمُ كلّ مــــــــلمّــــــةٍ
فقدthen indeed بتَّyou have become للشّؤمِfor misfortune فتــــاهُits young servant وداعيـــــــهْand its herald
فقد بتَّ للشّؤمِ فتــــاهُ وداعيـــــــهْ
For, when you precede every calamity,
For with each adversity that visits me
You have become misfortune's servant and herald.
You've predetermined misfortune would hold sway
وإذْand when تحضرُyou visit القلبَthe heart فيغبرُso grows dusty فرحُهُits joy
وإذْ تحضرُ القلبَ فيغبرُ فرحُهُ
فقدthen indeed بتَّyou have become للنّزْرِfor the scant amount منof الفرحjoy ناعيــهْits death-announcer
فقد بتَّ للنّزْرِ من الفرح ناعيــهْ
And when you visit the heart, its joy grows dusty,
And when sorrow captures my heart, its joy turns to dust
You have become the death-herald of that scant joy.
You've predetermined mourning would lead joy astray
شريْتُI sold بزيفكfor your falsehood كرامَnoble مــــــــــــــــــآثرٍdeeds
شريْتُ بزيفك كرامَ مــــــــــــــــــآثرٍ
عُرفتُI was known بهاfor them فيin كلّevery سهلٍplain ورابيهْand hill
عُرفتُ بها في كلّ سهلٍ ورابيهْ
For your falsehood I sold the noble deeds
I've come to know your fickleness' false glamour
For which I was known on every plain and hill.
In every plain and hill along the way
فصرتso I became أرىI see الدنياthe world بعينكthrough your eye جنـةًa paradise
فصرت أرى الدنيا بعينك جنـةً
ومنand from تحتِهاbeneath it نارُthe fire جهنّمHell خافيـــهْhidden
ومن تحتِها نارُ جهنّم خافيـــهْ
So I came to see the world through your eye as a paradise,
So I see the world through your eyes as heaven
And beneath it the fire of Hell lay hidden.
While hellfire burns concealed down below, they say
أمتُّI put to death لأجلكfor your sake لطافtender مشاعـــــرٍfeelings
أمتُّ لأجلك لطاف مشاعـــــرٍ
سموتI rose بهاthrough them فيin كلّevery روضٍmeadow وباديهْand desert
سموت بها في كلّ روضٍ وباديهْ
For your sake I killed tender feelings,
I died for your sake many refined pleasures
With which I had soared in every meadow and desert.
Soared through them in meadows and valleys day after day
ولمّاand when بحثتُI searched عنكfor you يومthe day تمــرّدَتِit rebelled
ولمّا بحثتُ عنك يوم تمــرّدَتِ
الحياةُlife وجدتُهاI found it بحضنكَin your embrace غافيهْasleep
الحياةُ وجدتُها بحضنكَ غافيهْ
And when I sought you on the day life rebelled,
And when life rebelled and I searched for you
I found it asleep in your embrace.
I found you resting in its embrace, so gay
وضيّعْتُand I squandered فيكon you سيرتيmy reputation وعقيدتيand my creed
وضيّعْتُ فيك سيرتي وعقيدتي
ونفساًand a soul ورثتهاI inherited it منof الذنبِsin خاليهْfree
ونفساً ورثتها من الذنبِ خاليهْ
And I squandered on you my reputation and my creed,
I squandered on you my principles and faith
And a soul I had inherited free of sin.
A spirit bequeathed with sins, empty, betray
وضحّيتُand I sacrificed بالجيرانthe neighbors والأهلِand the family والرفـاand the companions (continued)
وضحّيتُ بالجيران والأهلِ والرفـا
قword ending (companions) حتىuntil خوىgrew hollow وجفّand dried up واعتلّand fell ill ساقيهْmy leg
ق حتى خوى وجفّ واعتلّ ساقيهْ
And I sacrificed neighbors, family, and companions,
I sacrificed my people, family and dignity
Until my leg grew hollow, dry, and ailing.
Until it withered and my legs gave way
فأضحيتso I became خوّافاًfearful وجلّand most of هواجسيmy anxieties
فأضحيت خوّافاً وجلّ هواجسي
المصيرُfate اذاwhen ماever (emphasis) هبّتblew الريحُthe wind عاتيهْfierce
المصيرُ اذا ما هبّت الريحُ عاتيهْ
So I became fearful, and my chief anxiety was
So I became a fearful coward, with deep anxieties
My fate whenever the wind blew fiercely.
About fate, when the winds blow fierce and fey
فــبـــــتُّso I became بأعيــــنِin the eyes of الخلائــــقِall creatures سبّــــــةًa disgrace
فــبـــــتُّ بأعيــــنِ الخلائــــقِ سبّــــــةً
يتاجرُtrades فيّin me كلُّevery بيــــــــتٍverse وقافيــــــــــهْand rhyme
يتاجرُ فيّ كلُّ بيــــــــتٍ وقافيــــــــــهْ
So I became a disgrace in the eyes of all creation,
I became, in people's eyes, a mockery,
Every verse and rhyme making merchandise of me.
In every verse and line, the butt of gossips' play
وردتُI came to كتـابَthe Book اللهGod بعدafter قــطيـــعــــــةٍestrangement
وردتُ كتـابَ الله بعد قــطيـــعــــــةٍ
مــــخـــــــافةَfor fear of ساعـةٍan hour وربّكby your Lord آتيــــــــــهْcoming
مــــخـــــــافةَ ساعـةٍ وربّك آتيــــــــــهْ
I came to God's Book after estrangement,
I abandoned God's book, fearing the fated hour
Fearing an Hour that, by your Lord, is coming.
And the coming of your Lord, that unknown day
وعــدْتُand I returned، وكلّمـاand whenever مـررتI passed بآيـــــــــةٍupon a verse
وعــدْتُ، وكلّمـا مـررت بآيـــــــــةٍ
سمعتُI heard: تهاونتَyou were negligent وأمّكَand your mother هاويـــــــهْthe Abyss
سمعتُ: تهاونتَ وأمّكَ هاويـــــــهْ
And I returned; whenever I came upon a verse,
And whenever I passed a verse I would hear
I heard: "You were negligent, and your mother is the Abyss."
"You were complacent, while your end is on its way"
فهلso did ...? جئتنيyou came to me يوماًever الىto اللهِGod داعياcalling؟
فهل جئتني يوماً الى اللهِ داعيا؟
وهلّاand why not حملتyou bore حصّةًa share منof عذابيـــهْmy torment!
وهلّا حملت حصّةً من عذابيـــهْ!
So did you ever come to me, calling me to God?
Did you ever call me to God, even once?
And why did you not bear a share of my torment?
Or share a morsel of my torment's fray?
وداويتُand I treated جرحَكyour wound ولــــمّـــاand not yet تجُدْyou bestow بمنwith someone who
وداويتُ جرحَك ولــــمّـــا تجُدْ بمن
يمنّbestows بمنةٍwith a favor ويُشـــفيand heals جـراحِـــــيــــهْmy wounds
يمنّ بمنةٍ ويُشـــفي جـراحِـــــيــــهْ
And I treated your wound, but you have yet to provide anyone
I tended your wound but found none grateful
Who bestows a favor and heals my wounds.
To bestow a favor or heal my decay
وأسلمتَand you surrendered جسميmy body للمشيبto greying وماand not حسبْـthought (continued)
وأسلمتَ جسمي للمشيب وما حسبْـ
ـتُI (verb ending) روحيmy soul ستنجوwill be saved لوif غدتْit became بكَwith you راضيهْcontent
ـتُ روحي ستنجو لو غدتْ بكَ راضيهْ
And you surrendered my body to greying; I did not
You surrendered my body to aging, and never considered
Think my soul would be saved if it grew content with you.
My soul might be saved if you were pleased to stay
بـــرمـــتI grew weary بشكواكof your complaints وكثرand the abundance of أنينـــــــــكyour groaning
بـــرمـــت بشكواك وكثر أنينـــــــــك
بلاwithout سببcause فاعـفso pardon وأطلقand grant سراحيـــــــهْmy release
بلا سبب فاعـف وأطلق سراحيـــــــهْ
I grew weary of your complaints and your frequent groaning
You complained without cause, so pardon and let go
Without cause; so pardon me and set me free.
My spirit, enough! No more wailing, I pray
وماand not عادremained بيin me شوقlonging لحلوِfor the sweetness of السنينthe years إذsince
وما عاد بي شوق لحلوِ السنين إذ
أراهاI see them ككُدْرlike the dim ones among الأنجمthe stars ِالمتنائيــــــــــــــهْfar-distant
أراها ككُدْر الأنجم ِالمتنائيــــــــــــــهْ
And I no longer long for the sweetness of the years, for
Gone is my longing for sweet younger years
I see them like dim, far-distant stars.
When I see them murky like stars in disarray
وإنّيand indeed I إلىtoward الموتِdeath بشوقٍwith longing وعلّand perhaps فيin
وإنّي إلى الموتِ بشوقٍ وعلّ في
الفراقِseparation ارتياحناour relief فردّدْso repeat دعائيــــــــــــهْmy prayer
الفراقِ ارتياحنا فردّدْ دعائيــــــــــــهْ
And I long for death; perhaps in
To death I yearn, and perhaps in parting
Separation lies our relief; so repeat my prayer.
We'll find relief, so echo my prayers, I say
لـعـمْـرُكby your life ماnot يرذُلُgrows base عـمـرٌa life بطولـــــهِthrough its length
لـعـمْـرُك ما يرذُلُ عـمـرٌ بطولـــــهِ
ولكنْbut بصَيْرٍthrough turning منfrom رحومٍa merciful one لطاغيـــــــــهْinto a tyrant
ولكنْ بصَيْرٍ من رحومٍ لطاغيـــــــــهْ
By your life, a life does not grow base through its length,
A life is not made wretched by its length
But by turning from a merciful one into a tyrant.
But by the wisdom of the Merciful at play
Sol 6.1