كأن العمر ماكان — Farouk Gouida

قدَّمتَ عمركَ للأحلامِ قربانَا

لا خنتَ عهدًا ولا خَادعتَ إنسانَا

You offered your life to dreams as a sacrifice.

You neither betrayed a pledge nor deceived a soul.

والآن تحملُ أحلامًا مبعثرةً

هل هانَ حُلْمُكَ.. أم أنتَ الذى هانَا؟

And now you carry scattered dreams.

Was your dream brought low—or were you the one brought low?

قامرتَ بالعمرِ.. والأيامُ غانيةٌ

مَنْ سَرَّهُ زمنًا سَاءَتْه أزمانَا

You gambled with life, and the days are a courtesan:

Whomever they delighted for a time, they tormented for ages.

قد عشتَ ترْسُمُ أحلامًا لعاشقةٍ

ذاقتْ كؤوسَ الهوى طُهرًا.. وعِصْيَانَا

You lived drawing dreams for a woman in love,

Who tasted love's cups in purity and rebellion.

زَيَّنْتَ للناسِ أحلامًا مُجَنَّحَةً

بالحُلمِ حينًا.. وبالأوهامِ أحيانَا

You made winged dreams beautiful for people,

Through dreaming sometimes, and through illusions at others.

في كلِّ قلبٍ غرستَ الحُبَّ أغنيةً

غنَّى بها الشِّعرُ في الآفاقِ.. وَازْدَانَا

In every heart you planted love as a song;

Poetry sang it across the horizons and grew adorned.

أحلامُكَ البحرُ يَطْوى الأرضَ في غضبٍ

فَلا يَرى في المَدى أُفْقًا وشُطْآنَا

Your dreams are the sea, folding the earth in anger,

Seeing no horizon or shores in the distance.

أحلامُكَ الصُّبْحُ.. يَسْرى كلما انْتفضتْ

مواكبُ النُّورِ وسْطَ الليلِ نِيرانَا

Your dreams are dawn, spreading whenever there rise

Processions of light as fires amid the night.

أحلامُكَ الأمنُ.. يَبنى في غدٍ أمَلاً

طفلا صغيرًا بِحُضنِ النيلِ نَشْوَانَا

Your dreams are safety, building hope for tomorrow:

A little child, blissful in the Nile's embrace.

أحلامُك الأرضُ تَخشى اللهَ في ورعٍ

وتَرفعُ العدلَ بين الناسِ بُرهانَا

Your dreams are the earth, fearing God in piety,

And holding justice high among people as proof.

لا تَغضبوا من حديثى.. إنَّه ألمٌ..

كمْ ضاقَ قلبى به جَهرًا.. وكِتْمَانَا

Do not be angry at my words: they are pain.

How often my heart has ached with it, openly and in secret.

عَصرٌ لَقيطٌ بِسيفِ القَهرِ شَرَّدَنَا

وبَاعَنَا خِلْسَةً نَاسًا.. وأوْطَانَا

A foundling age scattered us with oppression's sword,

And sold us secretly—people and homelands alike.

يا أُمَّةً قَايَضتْ بِالعجزِ نَخْوَتَهَا

وشَوَّهَتْ دِينَها هَدْيًا.. وقُرْآنَا

O nation that bartered its noble pride for helplessness,

And disfigured its faith—its guidance and Quran.

يا أُمَّةً لَوَّثَتْ بِالعُهْرِ سَاحَتَها

ومَارستْ فُجْرَهَا بَغْيًا.. وبُهْتَانَا

O nation that stained its grounds with debauchery,

And practiced its depravity in oppression and slander.

هَذِى خُيُولُكَ تحتَ السَّفْحِ قدْ وَهَنَتْ

وأَغْمَضَتْ عَيْنَهَا بُؤْسًا.. وحِرْمَانَا

These are your horses, grown feeble beneath the slope,

And closing their eyes in misery and deprivation.

هَذِى رُبُوعُكِ بينَ العَجزِ قدْ سَكَنَتْ

وَوَدَّعَتْ بِالأَسَى خَيْلاً.. وَفُرْسَانَا

These are your lands, fallen still amid helplessness,

And bidding horses and horsemen farewell in sorrow.

هَذِى شُعُُوبٌ رَأتْ فى الصَّمْتِ رَاحَتَها

وَاسْتَبْدَلَتْ عِيرَهَا بِالخَيْلِ أَزْمَانَا

These are peoples who found their comfort in silence,

And for ages substituted their caravans for horses.

هَذِى شُعُوبٌ رَأتْ فى الموتِ غَايَتَهَا

وَاسْتَسْلَمَتْ للرَّدَى ذُلاً.. وَطُغْيَانَا

These are peoples who saw their goal in death,

And surrendered to doom in humiliation and tyranny.

تَبْكى على العُمرِ فى أرضٍ يُلوِّثُهَا

رِجسُ الفسادِ فَتُعْلِى القَهرَ سُلْطَانَا

You weep over life in a land defiled

By corruption's filth, enthroning oppression as sovereign.

بَاعُوا لنا الوَهمَ أَشْبَاحًا مُتَوَّجَةً

مَنْ أَدْمَنُوا القَتلَ كُهَّانًا.. وأَعْوَانَا

They sold us illusion as crowned phantoms:

Those addicted to killing—priests and accomplices.

بَينَ الجَمَاجِمِ تِيجَانٌ مُلوَّثَةٌ

وفى المَضاجعِ يَلهُو الفسقُ أَلْوَانَا

Amid the skulls are sullied crowns,

And in beds depravity frolics in many forms.

لَمْ يَبْرَإِ الجُرْحُ.. لَمْ تَهْدَأْ عَوَارِضُهُ

وإِنْ غَدَا فى خَرِيفِ العُمْرِ أَحْزَانَا

The wound has not healed; its symptoms have not subsided,

Though in life's autumn it has turned to sorrow.

قَدَّمْتَ عُمْرَكَ لِلأحلامِ قُرْبَانَا

هَلْ خَانَكَ الحُلْمُ.. أَمْ أَنتَ الذى خَانَا؟!

You offered your life to dreams as a sacrifice.

Did the dream betray you—or were you the one who betrayed?

كَمْ عِشْتَ تَجْرِى وَراءَ الحُلْمِ فى دَأَبٍ

وتَغْرِِسُ الحُبَّ بَينَ النَّاسِ إِيمَانَا

How long you lived pursuing the dream relentlessly,

And planting love among people as faith.

كَمْ عِشْتَ تَهْفُو لأَوْطَانٍ بِلاَ فَزَعٍ

وَتَكْرَهُ القَيْدَ مَسْجُونًا.. وَسَجَّانَا

How long you lived yearning for homelands without fear,

And hating chains, as prisoner and as jailer.

كَمْ عِشْتَ تَصْرُخُ كالمَجنونِ فى وَطنٍ

مَا عَادَ يَعْرِفُ غَيْرَ المَوتِ عُنْوَانَا

How long you lived shouting like a madman in a homeland

That no longer knows any address but death.

كَمْ عِشْتَ تَنْبِشُ فى الأطْلالِ عَنْ زَمَنٍ

صَلْبِ العَزَائِمِ يُحْيِى كُلَّ مَا كَانَا

How long you lived digging among the ruins for an age

Of iron resolve, bringing all that once was back to life.

كَمْ عِشْتَ تَرْسُمُ لِلأطْفالِ أُغْنِيَةً

عَنْ أُمَّةٍ شَيَّدَتْ لِلعَدْلِ مِيزَانَا

How long you lived drawing a song for children

About a nation that erected a balance for justice.

فى سَاحَةِ المَجْدِ ضَوْءٌ مِنْ مَآثِرِهَا

مَنْ زَلْزَلَ الكَونَ أَرْكَانَا.. فَأَرْكَانَا

In glory's arena shines a light from its noble deeds:

Those who shook the universe, pillar after pillar.

صَانَتْ عُهُودًا.. وثَارَتْ عِنْدَمَا غَضِبَتْ

وَخيْرُ مَنْ أَنْجَبَتْ فى الأَرْضِ إِنْسَانَا

It honored pledges and rose in revolt when angered,

And was the finest to bring a human being into the world.

سَادَتْ شُعُوبًا.. وكَانتْ كُلَّمَا انْتَفَضَتْ

هَبَّتْ عليها رِياحُ الغَدْرِ عُدْوَانَا

It ruled over peoples, and whenever it rose,

Winds of treachery blew against it in aggression.

هَانَتْ على أَهلِهَا مِنْ يَوْمِ أَنْ رَكَعَتْ

لِلغَاصِبِينَ.. وَوَيْلُ المَرْءِ إِنْ هَانَا

It fell in its own people's eyes from the day it knelt

To the usurpers—and woe to anyone brought low.

يَجْرِى بِنَا الحُلْمُ فَوْقَ الرِّيحِ.. يَحْمِلُنَا

ويَرْسُمُ الكَوْنَ فى العَيْنَيْنِ بُسْتَانَا

The dream races with us above the wind, bearing us,

And paints the universe as a garden in our eyes.

حَتَّى إِذَا مَا خَبَا.. يَرْتَاحُ فى سَأَمٍ

وَفَوقَ أَشْلائِهِ تَبْكِى خَطَايَانَا

Until, when it fades, it rests in weariness,

And our sins weep over its torn remains.

لا تَسْأَلِ النَّهْرَ.. مَنْ بِالعَجْزِ كَبَّلَهُ؟

وكَيْفَ أَضْحَى هَوَانَ العَجْزِ تِيجَانَا؟

Do not ask the river who shackled it with helplessness,

And how the humiliation of helplessness became crowns.

لا تَسْأَلِ النَّاىَ.. مَنْ بالصَّمْتِ أَسْكَتَهُ؟

وكَيْفَ صَارَتْ "غَنَاوِى" النَّاىِ أَحْزَانَا؟

Do not ask the reed flute who silenced it with silence,

And how the reed flute's songs became sorrows.

نَاىٌ حَزِينٌ أَنَا.. قَدْ جِئْتُ فى زَمَنٍ

أَضْحَى الغِنَاءُ بِهِ كُفْرًا.. وَعِصْيَانَا

I am a sorrowful reed flute; I have come in an age

When singing has become unbelief and rebellion.

صَوْتٌ غَرِيبٌ أَنَا.. والأُفْقُ مَقبرةٌ

فى كُلِّ شِبْرٍ تَرَى قَتْلى.. وَأَكْفَانَا

I am a strange voice, and the horizon is a graveyard;

In every handspan you see the slain and shrouds.

هَذَا هو الفَجْرُ.. كَالقِدِّيسِ مُرْتَحِلاً

مُنَكَّسَ الرَّأَسِ بَينَ النَّاسِ خَزْيَانَا

Here is the dawn, departing like a saint,

Head bowed among the people, ashamed.

غَنَّيْتُ عُمْرِى.. وَكَمْ أَطْرَبْتُكُمْ زَمَنًا

وَكَمْ مَلأَتُ ضِفَافَ النِّيلِ أَلْحَانَا

I sang all my life; how long I held you enraptured,

And how often I filled the Nile's banks with melodies.

غَنَّيْتُ لِلحُبِّ.. حَتَّى صَارَ أُغْنِيَةً

فَوْقَ الشِّفَاهِ.. وَطَارَ النِّيلُ نَشْوَانَا

I sang for love until it became a song

Upon the lips, and the Nile flew in rapture.

كَيْفَ البَلابِلُ غَابَتْ عَنْ شَوَاطِئِهِ

وكَيْفَ يَحْضُنُ مَاءَ النِّيلِ غِرْبَانَا؟

How have the nightingales vanished from its shores,

And how does the Nile's water embrace crows?

عَارٌ عَلى النِّيلِ.. هَلْ يَنْسَابُ فى وَهَنٍ

وتُصْبِحُ الأُسْدُ فى شَطَّيْهِ جُرْذَانَا؟

Shame upon the Nile! Does it flow in weakness,

While the lions on its two banks turn into rats?

عَارٌ عَلى النِّيلِ يُلْقِى الكَأسَ مُنْتَشِيًا

وكُلُّ طِفْلٍ بِهِ.. قَدْ نَامَ ظَمْآنَا!

Shame upon the Nile, flinging down the cup in rapture,

While every child along it has fallen asleep thirsty!

فى الأفْقِ غَيْمٌ.. وَرَاءَ الغَيْمِ هَمْهَمَةٌ

وَطَيْفُ صُبْحٍ بَدَا فى الليلِ بُرْكَانَا

Clouds lie on the horizon; behind the clouds, a murmur,

And the phantom of a dawn appeared in the night as a volcano.

صَوْتُ النَّوَارِسِِ خَلْفَ الأُفْقِ يُخْبِرُنى:

البَحرُ يُخْفِى وَرَاءَ المَوْجِ طُوفَانَا

The gulls' cry beyond the horizon tells me:

The sea hides a deluge behind the waves.

لا تَسْألِ الحُلمَ عَمَّنْ بَاعَ.. أو خَانَا

واسْألْ سُجُونًا تُسَمَّى الآنَ أوْطَانا!

Do not ask the dream about those who sold or betrayed;

Ask prisons now called homelands!

أَشْكُو لِمَنْ غُرْبَةَ الأيَّامِ فى وطنٍ

يَمتدُ فى القلبِ شِرْيَانًا.. فَشِرْيَانَا؟

To whom can I lament the estrangement of days in a homeland

That extends through the heart, artery after artery?

مَا كُنتُ أعْلمُ أنَِّ العِشقَ يَا وَطَنى

يَومًا سَيَغْدُو مَعَ الأيَّامِ إدمانَا

I did not know that passionate love, O my homeland,

Would one day become an addiction as the days passed.

عَلَّمْتَنا العِشْقَ.. حَتَّى صَارَ فى دَمِنَا

يَسْرِى مَعَ العُمْرِ أَزْمَانًا.. فَأزْمَانَا

You taught us passionate love until it entered our blood,

Flowing with our lives, age after age.

عَلَّمْتَنا.. كَيْفَ نَلْقَى المَوْتَ فى جَلدٍ

وكَيْفَ نُخْفِى أَمَامَ النَّاسِ شَكْوَانَا

You taught us how to face death with fortitude,

And how to conceal our complaints before people.

هَذَا هُوَ المَوْتُ يَسْرِى فى مَضَاجِعِنَا

وأَنْتَ تَطْرَبُ مِنْ أنَّاتِ مَوْتَانَا

Here is death, creeping through our beds,

While you delight in the groans of our dead.

هَذَا هُوَ الصَّمْتُ يَشْكُو مِنْ مَقَابِرِنا

فَكُلَّمَا ضَمَّنا.. صَاحَتْ بَقَايَانَا

Here is silence, complaining from our graves;

For whenever it embraces us, our remains cry out.

بَاعُوكَ بَخْسًا.. فَهَلْ أَدْرَكتَ يَا وَطَنِى

فِى مَأتمِ الحُلمِ قَلبِى فِيكَ كَمْ عَانَى؟!

They sold you cheap; have you realized, O my homeland,

How much my heart has suffered for you at the dream's funeral?

سَفِينَةٌ أَبْحَرَتْ فى الليلِ تَائِهةً

والمَوْجُ يَرْسُمُ فى الأَعْمَاقِ شُطآنَا

A ship set sail, lost in the night,

While the waves draw shores in the depths.

شِرَاعُهَا اليَأسُ.. تَجْرِى كُلَّمَا غَرِقَتْ

حَتَّى تَلاشَتْ.. ولاحَ المَوْتُ رُبَّانَا

Its sail was despair; it sailed on whenever it sank,

Until it vanished, and death appeared as captain.

يَا ضَيْعَةَ العُمْرِ.. سَادَ العُمْرَ فى سَفَهٍ

بَطْشُ الطُّغَاةِ.. وَصَارَ الحَقُّ شَيْطَانَا

O wasted life! Life was ruled, in folly,

By the tyrants' violence, and truth became a devil.

كَمْ كُنْتُ أهْرَبُ.. والجَلادُ يَصْرخُ بِى:

يَكْفِيكَ مَا قَدْ مَضَى سُخْطًا.. وَعِصْيَانَا

How often I fled, while the executioner shouted at me:

Enough of your past anger and rebellion!

ارْجِعْ لِرُشْدِكَ.. فَالأحْلامُ دَانِيَةٌ

واسْألْ حُمَاةَ الحِمَا صَفْحًا.. وَغُفْرَانَا

Come back to your senses; dreams are near at hand,

And ask the guardians of the realm for pardon and forgiveness.

هَلْ أطْلُبُ الصَّفْحَ مِنْ لِصٍّ يُطَارِدُنِى؟

أَمْ أَطْلُبُ الحُلمَ مِمِّنْ بَاعَ أَوْطَانَا؟!

Shall I ask pardon of a thief who pursues me?

Or ask for a dream from those who sold homelands?

بَيْنَ الهُمُومِ أَنامُ الآنَ فى ضَجَرٍ..

قَدْ هَدَّنِى اليَأسُ.. فاسْتَسْلمتُ حَيْرَانَا

Among my cares I now sleep in vexation;

Despair has broken me, so I surrendered, bewildered.

حَتَّى الأَحِبَّةُ سَارُوا فى غِوَايَتِهِمْ

وَضَيَّعُوا عُمْرَنَا شَوْقًا.. وَحِرْمَانَا

Even loved ones followed their waywardness,

And squandered our lives in longing and deprivation.

خَانُوا عُهُودًا لَنَا.. قَدْ عِشْتُ أَحْفَظُهَا

فَكَيْفَ نَحْفَظُ يَوْمًا عَهْدَ مَنْ خَانَا؟

They betrayed pledges to us that I had lived to keep;

How, then, can we ever honor the pledge of one who betrayed?

إِنِّى لأَعْجَبُ.. عَيْنِى كَيْفَ تَجْهَلُنِى

ويَقْطَعُ القَلْبُ فى جَنْبَىَّ شِرْيَانَا؟!

Indeed I marvel: how can my own eye fail to know me,

And the heart within my breast sever an artery?

كَمْ عَرْبَدَ الشَّوْقُ عُمْرًا فى جَوَانِحِنَا

وَقَدْ شَقِينَا بِهِ فَرْحًا وأشْجَانًا

How long longing ran riot within our breasts,

And we suffered through it, in joy and sorrows.

مَا سَافرَ الحُبُّ.. مَا غَابَتْ هَوَاجِسُهُ

ولا الزَّمَانُ بِطولِ البُعدِ أَنْسَانَا

Love has not departed; its haunting thoughts have not vanished,

Nor has time, through long separation, made us forget.

إِنْ حلَّقَتْ فى سَمَاءِ الحُبِّ أُغْنِيَةٌ

عَادَتْ لَيَالِيه تُشْجِى القَلْبَ أَلْحَانَا

If a song soars in the sky of love,

Its nights return, saddening the heart with melodies.

لَمْ يَبْقَ شَىْءٌ سِوَى صَمْتٍ يُسَامِرُنَا

وَطَيْفِ ذِكْرَى يَزُورُ القَلْبَ أَحْيَانَا

Nothing remains but a silence that keeps us company at night,

And a phantom memory visiting the heart from time to time.

قََدَّمْتُ عُمْرِى لِلأَحْلامِ قُرْبَانَا..

لا خُنْتُ عَهْدًا.. وَلا خَادَعْتُ إِنْسَانَا

I offered my life to dreams as a sacrifice.

I neither betrayed a pledge nor deceived a soul.

شَاخَ الزَّمَانُ.. وَأَحْلامِى تُضَلِّلُنِى

وَسَارِقُ الحُلْمِ كَمْ بِالوَهَمِ أَغْوَانَا

Time has grown old, and my dreams mislead me;

How often the thief of dreams seduced us with illusion.

شَاخَ الزَّمَانُ وسَجَّانِى يُحَاصِرُنى

وَكُلَّمَا ازْدَادَ بَطْشًا.. زِدْتُ إِيمَانَا

Time has grown old, and my jailer besieges me;

And the more brutal he became, the stronger my faith grew.

أَسْرَفْتُ فى الحُبِّ.. فى الأَحْلامِ.. فى غَضَبِى

كَمْ عِشْتُ أَسْألُ نَفْسِى: أيُّنََا هَانَا؟

I went to excess in love, in dreams, in my anger;

How long I lived asking myself: which of us was brought low?

هَلْ هَانَ حُلْمِى.. أَمْ هَانَتْ عَزَائِمُنَا؟

أَمْ إِنَّهُ القَهْرُ.. كَمْ بِالعَجْزِ أَشْقَانَا؟

Was my dream brought low, or did our resolve falter?

Or is it oppression, which so tormented us with helplessness?

شَاخَ الزَّمَانُ.. وَحُلْمِى جَامِحٌ أَبَدًا

وَكُلْمَا امْتَدَّ عُمْرِى.. زَادَ عِصْيَانَا

Time has grown old, yet my dream is forever untamed;

And as my life lengthens, it grows more rebellious.

وَالآنَ أَجْرِى وَرَاءَ العُمْرِ مُنْتَظِرًا

مَا لا يَجِىءُ.. كَأنَّ العُمْرَ مَا كَانَا

And now I run after life, awaiting

What does not come, as though life had never been.