ما اكتئابي إلا على الشَمَّاسِ

ما اكتئابي إلا على الشَمَّاسِ

لا ولا حُرْقَتي ولا وسواسي

لا ولا حُرْقَتي ولا وسواسي

My only concern is for the deacon—

My sorrow is only over the deacon;

none but him my burning grief, none but him my anxious care.

no—neither my burning anguish nor my brooding is for anyone else.

أيّ تيس أضعتُ منه قليلاً

أيّ تيس أضعتُ منه قليلاً

ما ترى مثلَهُ لدى التيَّاس

ما ترى مثلَهُ لدى التيَّاس

What a billy goat I lost in him! Seldom

What a he-goat—I have lost a little of him!

do you see his like among the goatherds.

You see none like him at the goat-breeder's.

راسياً جانبَ الخوانِ فما يُحْ

راسياً جانبَ الخوانِ فما يُحْ

سَبُ إِلا بعضَ الجبالِ الرواسي

سَبُ إِلا بعضَ الجبالِ الرواسي

Anchored beside the dining board, he is reck—

Planted beside the dining table, he is reckoned

oned as nothing less than one of the steadfast mountains.

nothing but one of the immovable mountains;

فاعلاً في القريب منه وفي البُعْ

فاعلاً في القريب منه وفي البُعْ

دِ كفِعلِ النساءِ في الأعراس

دِ كفِعلِ النساءِ في الأعراس

Laying into all that lies near him and all that lies afar—

acting upon what is near him and what is far

just as women do at wedding feasts;

away, as women do at weddings;

ناثراً في البقول ما أبرزته

ناثراً في البقول ما أبرزته

يدُهُ من خُلالةِ الأضراس

يدُهُ من خُلالةِ الأضراس

scattering among the greens whatever

scattering among the greens whatever was brought out

his hand extracts from between his molars;

by his hand from the scraps between his molars;

مُلْقِياً للمُشَاشِ من فيه في الصَّحْ

مُلْقِياً للمُشَاشِ من فيه في الصَّحْ

فةِ حتى يُعيده من راس

فةِ حتى يُعيده من راس

tossing bits of gristle from his mouth into the plat—

casting gristle from his mouth into the dish,

ter, until he takes them back and starts all over;

until he takes it up again from the start;

خابئاً منْ مخاطِهِ في المناد

خابئاً منْ مخاطِهِ في المناد

يلِ خبايا شَبائهَ الأجْعاس

يلِ خبايا شَبائهَ الأجْعاس

stashing some of his mucus in handker—

hiding some of his snot in handkerchiefs,

chiefs: hidden hoards whose counterparts are bells;

secret deposits resembling turds;

مُبْقياً بَلْغَماً على شَفَةِ الكو

مُبْقياً بَلْغَماً على شَفَةِ الكو

زِ شبيهاً عليه بالأشراس

زِ شبيهاً عليه بالأشراس

leaving phlegm upon the rim of the cup,

leaving phlegm on the lip of the mug,

resembling savage beasts upon it.

looking there like glue.

حيِّيا عارِضَيْ صديقي أبي مو

حيِّيا عارِضَيْ صديقي أبي مو

سى بموسى إِن شِئتما أو مَواسي

سى بموسى إِن شِئتما أو مَواسي

You two, greet the cheeks of my friend Abu Mu—

You two, greet both bearded cheeks of my friend Abu Musa

sa with a razor, if you wish—or razors.

with a razor, if you wish, or with razors.

ما رأينا شمَّاسَ ديرٍ سواهُ

ما رأينا شمَّاسَ ديرٍ سواهُ

يستعدُّ الضراطَ للقُدَّاس

يستعدُّ الضراطَ للقُدَّاس

Never have we seen another monastery deacon

We have seen no monastery deacon but him

with farting itself getting ready for Mass.

who readies loud farts for the Mass.

ويل كأسِ القدَّاسِ من فيه كم يَخْ

ويل كأسِ القدَّاسِ من فيه كم يَخْ

رأ من فيه في نواحي الكاس

رأ من فيه في نواحي الكاس

Woe to the chalice of Mass from his mouth! How often he sh—

Woe to the Mass chalice from his mouth! How much he shits

its from his mouth all around the chalice!

from his mouth around the sides of the cup!

الثقيلُ الذي يُقاس بِرَضْوَى

الثقيلُ الذي يُقاس بِرَضْوَى

ثِقَلاً أو يفوقُهُ في القياس

ثِقَلاً أو يفوقُهُ في القياس

That heavy brute, weighed against Mount Radwa

The heavy bore, who is compared with Radwa

in weight—or even surpassing it in the balance;

in weight, or outweighs it in the comparison;

وأساسُ الشؤمِ الذي تقلعُ النِع

وأساسُ الشؤمِ الذي تقلعُ النِع

مةَ أظفارُهُ من الآساس

مةَ أظفارُهُ من الآساس

the very root of ill omen, whose claws good for—

and the foundation of ill omen, who uproots blessing

tune uproots from their very roots;

with his nails from the foundations;

والموازي بالبومِ خَلفاً وخُلقاً

والموازي بالبومِ خَلفاً وخُلقاً

فهي في الطيرِ مثلُهُ في الناس

فهي في الطيرِ مثلُهُ في الناس

the owl’s match in backside and character:

and the equal of owls in hindquarters and character,

among birds she is his counterpart among men.

for they are among birds what he is among people.

ذو لباسٍ من المخازي فقد أل

ذو لباسٍ من المخازي فقد أل

بَسَهُ اللهُ أخزى لباس

بَسَهُ اللهُ أخزى لباس

Clad in a garment of disgraces—for God has clo—

Wearing a garment of disgrace, for he has been clothed

thed him in the most disgraceful garb.

by God in the most shameful garb.

تستعيذُ الأنوفُ من طرفيهِ

تستعيذُ الأنوفُ من طرفيهِ

دُبْرُهُ ضارطٌ وفوهُ فاسي

دُبْرُهُ ضارطٌ وفوهُ فاسي

Noses seek refuge from his two extremities:

Noses seek refuge from both his ends:

his arse is farting, and his mouth is a farter.

his anus farts loudly, and his mouth farts silently.