قالوا ابنُ يوسفَ مستوهٌ فقلتُ لهم

قالوا ابنُ يوسفَ مستوهٌ فقلتُ لهم

قُلتم بظنٍّ وبعضُ الظنِّ مكذوبُ

قُلتم بظنٍّ وبعضُ الظنِّ مكذوبُ

They said, 'Ibn Yusuf is a passive sodomite'; I told them:

They said the son of Joseph is even-tempered, so I said to them,

'You spoke from guesswork, and some guesswork is false.'

You said that out of speculation, and some speculation is untrue.

قالوا ألستَ تراهُ يا أبا حسنٍ

قالوا ألستَ تراهُ يا أبا حسنٍ

فَخْماً له قَصَبٌ ريّانُ خُرعوبُ

فَخْماً له قَصَبٌ ريّانُ خُرعوبُ

They said, 'Do you not see him, O Abu Hasan,

They said, Don't you see him, oh Abu Hasan,

massive, with well-fleshed, long and supple limbs,

With a nose like a reed filled with robes of honor.

في جثةِ الفيلِ مَكْنياً بكنيتِهِ

في جثةِ الفيلِ مَكْنياً بكنيتِهِ

ولا محالةَ أن الفيلَ مركوبُ

ولا محالةَ أن الفيلَ مركوبُ

with an elephant's bulk, bearing its very byname—

In the body of an elephant with his frame,

and surely an elephant is ridden—

And inevitably the elephant is ridden.

لا سيما وله وجهُ به قحةٌ

لا سيما وله وجهُ به قحةٌ

وعارضٌ كجبين الطير مَهْلوبُ

وعارضٌ كجبين الطير مَهْلوبُ

especially with a face full of shamelessness,

Especially since he has a face with pimples on it,

and a cheek-beard plucked bare like a bird's brow,

And a forehead like the forehead of a molted bird.

وحوله غِلمةٌ شُقْرٌ طَماطمةٌ

وحوله غِلمةٌ شُقْرٌ طَماطمةٌ

كلٌّ طويلُ قناةِ الظهر مَعْصوبُ

كلٌّ طويلُ قناةِ الظهر مَعْصوبُ

and around him blond, foreign-tongued lads,

And around him are ugly, freckled servants,

each long of spine and tightly muscled?'

Each with a tall backside that is tied up.

فقلت في دون هذا الأمر بيِّنةٌ

فقلت في دون هذا الأمر بيِّنةٌ

للمُستدِلِّ وعلمُ الغيب محجوبُ

للمُستدِلِّ وعلمُ الغيب محجوبُ

I said, 'Even less than this provides clear evidence

So I said, in this matter there is clear proof

to one drawing inferences; knowledge of the unseen is veiled.'

For one who deduces, though the unseen is veiled.

ويحَ ابنِ يوسفَ ليت الويحَ عاجَلَهُ

ويحَ ابنِ يوسفَ ليت الويحَ عاجَلَهُ

فما يُدانيه في بلواهُ أيوبُ

فما يُدانيه في بلواهُ أيوبُ

Alas for Ibn Yusuf—would that pity had swiftly reached him!

Oh the son of Joseph, I wish adversity would hasten to him

For not even Ayyub approaches him in his affliction.

For none can match him in affliction, not even Job.

الحرُّ يضربُهُ والعبدُ يضربُهُ

الحرُّ يضربُهُ والعبدُ يضربُهُ

إن الشقاءَ على الأشقَيْن مصبوبُ

إن الشقاءَ على الأشقَيْن مصبوبُ

The free man beats him, and the slave beats him;

The free man strikes him and the slave strikes him,

indeed, misery is poured upon the most wretched.

Misery upon the most miserable has been poured.

مَسَّاه بالضرب عبداهُ وصَبَّحهُ

مَسَّاه بالضرب عبداهُ وصَبَّحهُ

بالضرب حرٌّ من الفتيان مشبوبُ

بالضرب حرٌّ من الفتيان مشبوبُ

His two slaves greeted him at evening with blows; at dawn,

His slaves have touched him in the morning with beatings

a fiery young freeman greeted him with blows.

And in the morning a free man from the youths has whipped him

للَّه درُّ ابن بسطامٍ وصولتِهِ

للَّه درُّ ابن بسطامٍ وصولتِهِ

يوم استهلَّ عليه منه شُؤبوبُ

يوم استهلَّ عليه منه شُؤبوبُ

God, what a man Ibn Bistam was, and what an onslaught,

Praise be to Ibn Bustam and his arrival,

the day a downpour from him burst over the man!

The day he loosed upon him the calamity.

مازال يضرب منه يوم صادَفَهُ

مازال يضرب منه يوم صادَفَهُ

زيداً وزيدٌ بحكم النحو مضروبُ

زيداً وزيدٌ بحكم النحو مضروبُ

He kept beating him, the day he encountered him,

He kept beating him the day he caught him,

as Zayd—and Zayd, by grammar's rule, is the one beaten.

Zayd - and Zayd grammatically is in the accusative case.

ضرباً وجيعاً سوى ضربِ العبيد لهُ

ضرباً وجيعاً سوى ضربِ العبيد لهُ

والضرب ضربان مكروه ومحبوبُ

والضرب ضربان مكروه ومحبوبُ

A painful beating, apart from the slaves' beating of him:

Beatings and pain, apart from the beatings of slaves,

beating comes in two kinds, hated and loved.

For beatings are of two types: hated and loved.

لا قُدِّستْ من أبي العباس جاعرةٌ

لا قُدِّستْ من أبي العباس جاعرةٌ

ماء الفَياشل منها الدهر مسكوبُ

ماء الفَياشل منها الدهر مسكوبُ

May Abu al-Abbas's asshole never be sanctified:

No part of Abu Al-Abbas Ja'ra was left holy,

the semen of cock-heads pours from it forever.

The water of her burst from it, and the time has been poured.

فاضت مَنِيّاً وسلحاً يوم عزَّرها

فاضت مَنِيّاً وسلحاً يوم عزَّرها

سوطُ ابن بسطامَ حتى السوطُ مخضوبُ

سوطُ ابن بسطامَ حتى السوطُ مخضوبُ

It overflowed with semen and shit the day it was chastised

It gushed forth urine and weaponry the day he disciplined her,

by Ibn Bistam's whip, until even the whip was stained.

The whip of Ibn Bustam until the whip was bloodstained.

يا من يُحاذرُ منه فَرْطَ بادرةٍ

يا من يُحاذرُ منه فَرْطَ بادرةٍ

عند الخطاب لها حَرُّ وأُلهوبُ

عند الخطاب لها حَرُّ وأُلهوبُ

O you who fear an excessive outburst from him

O you who fear the excess of an impetuous attack

in conversation, with its heat and fierce blaze:

From her when addressing her, both free and aflame!

إذا تطاوَل يوماً في مُطالبةٍ

إذا تطاوَل يوماً في مُطالبةٍ

فكَنِّهِ يتطامنْ وهو مرعوبُ

فكَنِّهِ يتطامنْ وهو مرعوبُ

if one day he grows overbearing in a demand,

If he transgresses one day in demanding,

call him by his byname; he will shrink down, terrified.

Reproach him, though he is terrified.

وذاك أن أبا العباس غادَرَهُ

وذاك أن أبا العباس غادَرَهُ

وقلبُه أبداً ما عاش منخوبُ

وقلبُه أبداً ما عاش منخوبُ

That is because Abu al-Abbas left him

That is because Abu Al-Abbas has neglected him,

with his heart forever drained of courage, as long as he lives.

And his heart has never while alive been downcast.

يُضحي ويمسي قراعاً من قَوارعه

يُضحي ويمسي قراعاً من قَوارعه

كأنه بترات الخلق مطلوبُ

كأنه بترات الخلق مطلوبُ

At dawn and dusk he faces battering from his crushing blows,

He rises and sleeps fearing his severe punishments,

as though pursued for all mankind's blood-feuds.

As if he were the epitome of those sought for punishment.

يُكْنَى فيرتاع من تمثيل كنيتِهِ

يُكْنَى فيرتاع من تمثيل كنيتِهِ

له ابن بسَطام إن الشرّ مرهوبُ

له ابن بسَطام إن الشرّ مرهوبُ

He is called by his byname and starts at its conjuring up

He uses a nickname but shudders at the portrayal of his nickname,

Ibn Bistam before him—indeed, evil is feared.

The son of Bustam frightens those of evil deeds.

وسائلٍ ليَ عنهُ قلتُ مختلقٌ

وسائلٍ ليَ عنهُ قلتُ مختلقٌ

لكنّهُ بهناتٍ فيه مثلوبُ

لكنّهُ بهناتٍ فيه مثلوبُ

To one who asked me about him, I said: well-built,

I have excuses for him, though he is embroidered with them,

but reproached for the faults within him.

Tall and wide but without reason or manners.

طولٌ وعرضٌ بلا عقلٍ ولا أدبٍ

طولٌ وعرضٌ بلا عقلٍ ولا أدبٍ

فليس يَحْسنُ إلّا وهو مصلوبُ

فليس يَحْسنُ إلّا وهو مصلوبُ

Height and breadth, without intelligence or refinement:

He cannot be good except while crucified,

he looks good only when crucified,

Nor benefit except while prostrate, with a hot iron on his face.

ولي ينفع إلّا وهو منبطحٌ

ولي ينفع إلّا وهو منبطحٌ

تحت الغواة لِحُرِّ الوجهِ مكبوبُ

تحت الغواة لِحُرِّ الوجهِ مكبوبُ

and to me he is useful only when lying prone,

A long spear but in its flanks

beneath debauchees, flung face-down.

Are various thorns, so a tube is better than it.

رمحٌ طويل ولكن في جوانبه

رمحٌ طويل ولكن في جوانبه

شتّى وُصُومٍ فخيرٌ منه أُنبوبُ

شتّى وُصُومٍ فخيرٌ منه أُنبوبُ

A long spear, but along its sides

An elephant, but lighter than it if weighed

are manifold flaws; a reed-tube is better than he.

In wisdom and knowledge, not in body, is a raven.

فيلٌ وأَوْزَنُ منه لو يُوازِنُهُ

فيلٌ وأَوْزَنُ منه لو يُوازِنُهُ

في الحلم والعلم لا في الجسم يَعسوبُ

في الحلم والعلم لا في الجسم يَعسوبُ

An elephant, yet heavier than he, if weighed against him

If only the son of Joseph's conversations were collected,

in judgment and knowledge, not in body, is a dragonfly.

For it is a good door with holes punctured in it.

وَدَّ ابنُ يوسفَ لو جُبَّتْ مذاكِرهُ

وَدَّ ابنُ يوسفَ لو جُبَّتْ مذاكِرهُ

وأنها باب نيك فيه منقوبُ

وأنها باب نيك فيه منقوبُ

Ibn Yusuf wished his genitals had been cut off,

I wish the gap that has led him astray had for him

and that they were a doorway for fucking, bored into him.

Abu Al-Abbas' vulva sewn shut!

ياليتَ ثَفْرَ التي أدَّتْهُ كان له

ياليتَ ثَفْرَ التي أدَّتْهُ كان له

وأنَّ أير أبي العباس مجبوبُ

وأنَّ أير أبي العباس مجبوبُ

Would that the cunt of the woman who bore him were his,

So there would be for him two doors, the vulvas

and that Abu al-Abbas's cock were cut off,

Of the burst bubble, both of them and the doubts.

كيما يكونُ له بابان تدخلُهُ

كيما يكونُ له بابان تدخلُهُ

عُجرُ الفِياشِ من البابين والحوبُ

عُجرُ الفِياشِ من البابين والحوبُ

so that he might have two doors, through which would enter him

The runt will know that I will not leave him

the bulges of cock-heads, through both doors, and sin.

Until his trunk is bent with cursing.

سيعلم الفَدمُ أني غيرُ تاركهِ

سيعلم الفَدمُ أني غيرُ تاركهِ

إلا وخُرْطومُهُ بالشتم معلوبُ

إلا وخُرْطومُهُ بالشتم معلوبُ

The dolt will learn that I will not leave him

I presented my praise to him, but he made light of it,

until his trunk is scarred by invective.

Though my praise among the people is desired.

عرضتُ حمدي عليه فاستخفّ به

عرضتُ حمدي عليه فاستخفّ به

وإن حمديَ في قومٍ لمخطوبُ

وإن حمديَ في قومٍ لمخطوبُ

I offered him my praise, but he made light of it,

And praise does not come from one whose only concern

though among some people my praise is eagerly sought.

Is a thick penis, both edible and potable.

وما المحامدُ ممن جُلُّ همّتِهِ

وما المحامدُ ممن جُلُّ همّتِهِ

أيرٌ غليظٌ ومأكولٌ ومشروبُ

أيرٌ غليظٌ ومأكولٌ ومشروبُ

What praiseworthy deeds can come from one whose chief concern

Zayd remains, while the slaves of God debase him -

is a thick cock, food, and drink?

Be content with that while the object is in the accusative case!

زيدٌ يظل عبيدُ اللَّه يخفضُهُ

زيدٌ يظل عبيدُ اللَّه يخفضُهُ

أعجِبْ بذلك والمفعول منصوبُ

أعجِبْ بذلك والمفعول منصوبُ

Zayd—Ubayd Allah keeps lowering him:

Or is it an insult, oh Abu Al-Abbas, that you know,

marvel at that, when the object is 'set upright' in the accusative!

For which you are insulted amongst the people?

هل سُبّةٌ يا أبا العباس تعلمُها

هل سُبّةٌ يا أبا العباس تعلمُها

إلا وأنت بها في الناس مسبوبُ

إلا وأنت بها في الناس مسبوبُ

Is there any disgrace you know, O Abu al-Abbas,

Or a flaw, the day you meet God, you are commissioned with it,

for which you are not reviled among the people?

When you are patient with accusations?

أم نُدبَةٌ يومَ تلقى اللَّه أنت بها

أم نُدبَةٌ يومَ تلقى اللَّه أنت بها

عند اصطبارك للتطعان مندوبُ

عند اصطبارك للتطعان مندوبُ

Or a scar, the day you meet God, with which you

You were called Ahmad the wronged, but you are not,

are marked through patiently enduring repeated thrusts?

Rather the names have been inverted.

سُمِّيتَ أحمدَ مظلوماً ولستَ به

سُمِّيتَ أحمدَ مظلوماً ولستَ به

كلّا ولكنْ من الأسماء مقلوبُ

كلّا ولكنْ من الأسماء مقلوبُ

You were unjustly named Ahmad, 'most praiseworthy,' though you are not;

no: yours is a name with its meaning turned upside down.