قل لابن بوران ولا تأثم — Abn Rumi

قل لابن بوران ولا تأثَّمِ

يا عربيَّا أعجميّاً وافْهَمِ

Tell Ibn Buran, and have no scruples:

O Arab non-Arab—understand!

ويا ابنَ أمٍّ وابنَ كلِّ مُسْلمِ

حاشا الذي أنت إليه تنتمي

And O son of a mother, and son of every Muslim,

except the one whose lineage you claim!

كدمتَ مِنْ أمِّك شرَّ مكدَمِ

زيادة البظْرِ الذي لم يكْلمِ

You bit the foulest place on your mother:

her protruding clitoris, never cut,

مخضَّباً بالحيض مثل العَنْدمِ

يُفيضُ من شرِّ فم شرَّ دمِ

stained with menstrual blood like crimson dye,

pouring the foulest blood from the foulest mouth

على سبالٍ منك لم يُكرَّمِ

يجيشُ من فتْقِ مَبالٍ سَرْطَمِ

over those whiskers of yours, never honored,

surging from the cleft of a gaping piss-hole,

يهْدِرُ في وجهك هَدْرَ المُقرَمِ

مِنْ تحت إست مثل رأسِ المُحرمِ

roaring in your face like a breeding camel,

from beneath an arse like a pilgrim's head.

وأيْرِ بغْلٍ بعد ذاك أدلمِ

ذي عُنُقٍ ريَّا ورأسٍ فيْلمِ

And after that, a dark mule's cock,

with a thick neck and an enormous head,

في بطنِ بورانَ وإنْ لم ترغمِ

ينْظِمُها من دُبُرٍ إلى فمِ

in Buran's belly, even if you will not submit,

threading her through from anus to mouth,

يدعَسُها دعسَ السنانِ اللَّهذَمِ

في دُبْرها وثَفْرها المُفَرَّمِ

stabbing her like a razor-sharp spearhead,

into her anus and her astringent-tightened vulva,

يتركها مُشاعةً لم تُقْسمِ

مراثُها وبَوْلها من مَخْرمِ

leaving her common property, undivided:

her dung and urine coming through one hole,

ينقُضُ منها كلَّ شيءٍ مُبْرَمِ

ينجلُ منها ضيقَ كل مَأْزمِ

undoing every tightly bound thing in her,

opening every constricted passage in her,

يتركها لو ولدت لم تَعْلَمِ

وأيْرُ عَير بعد ذاك مُكْدمِ

leaving her so that, if she gave birth, she would not know.

And after that, the cock of a biting ass,

كما وصفْنا قبله لم يَخْرِمِ

في نفقَيْ عرسِكَ شرَّ مخرمِ

just as we described before, falling short in nothing,

boring most foully in your wife's two tunnels,

يفعلُ في مُؤْخرها والمُقدمِ

كَوَصْفِنا في أُمِّك المُقَدَّمِ

doing to her rear and front

what we described earlier in your mother.

أُقسمُ بالله الأجلِّ الأعظمِ

لأرمينَّ بالهجاء الأعرمِ

I swear by God, most majestic, most great:

I shall surely pelt with savage satire

دعيَّ آباءٍ عديدِ الأنجُمِ

لو يَسَروه بينهم بالأسْهُمِ

a bastard claimed by fathers as numerous as the stars.

Were they to apportion him among themselves with lot-arrows,

ما صار للواحد وزنُ دِرْهَمِ

ما بين ذي الحجَّة والمُحَرَّمِ

not a dirham's weight would fall to any one.

Between Dhu al-Hijja and Muharram there was not

يوماً مضى غُفْلاً بغير مِيْسَمِ

من فَجْرةٍ لأُمِّهِ أو مأثمِ

a day that passed unmarked, without a brand

of his mother's fornication or some sin.

يا ابن البغايا قولةً لم تُزْعَمِ

عجبتُ منكَ عجباً لم يظلمِ

O son of whores—a statement, not mere conjecture!

I marvel at you, with wonder that does no wrong:

وكيف لم تُرْقَط ولم تُوشَّمِ

وأنت خِلطٌ من شُعوبِ مَوْسمِ

how were you not speckled and tattooed,

when you are a mixture of the peoples at a fair?

لأنت أولى بغشاء الأرْقَمِ

بل كيف أضويتَ ولم تُتَمَّمِ

You have more claim to a speckled serpent's skin!

But how did you turn out puny, not brought to full size,

كخَلْقِ عادٍ أو كخلقِ جُرْهمِ

وفيك ماءُ ريِّ رَمْل أهيمِ

with the stature of ʿAd or the stature of Jurhum,

when you hold semen enough to slake insatiable sand?

كم فيك من تَوْأمةٍ وتوأمِ

كم منْ شقيقِ لك فيك مُدغمِ

How many twin girls and twin boys are in you!

How many a full brother of yours is fused within you!

لو زُيّلُوا من جسمك المجسَّمِ

غدوتَ في جيشٍ بهم عرمرمِ

Were they separated from your solid body,

you would march amid a vast army of them,

تُكْثر كلَّ معربٍ ومعجمِ

أمنع من جاد الهضاب الأعصمِ

outnumbering all Arab and non-Arab,

more unassailable than the white-footed dweller of the crags.

يا ابن الزنا منقطعَ التكلمِ

وابن الزنا منحسرَ التوهمِ

O son of fornication, beyond the limits of speech,

and son of fornication, beyond imagination's reach,

ما نظمَ الشعرُ وما لم ينظمِ

فلْيكْتُب الكاتبُ أو فلْيسأمِ

in all that poetry has framed, and all it has not!

Let the scribe write, or let him grow weary.

أنت ابنُ بورانَ كفاك واختمِ

يعْهدُها في اليوم ألفا قيِّمِ

You are Buran's son—enough; seal it.

Two thousand husbands visit her each day,

وتشتكي الخلَّةَ شكوى الأيِّمِ

ليست لها أختٌ سوى جَهنَّمِ

yet she complains of want like a husbandless woman.

Her only sister is Hell:

متى تزدْها حَصَباً تَضَرَّمِ

لم يخلُ في الأرضِ طباقُ مَنْسِمِ

whenever you add fuel to her, she flares up.

Not a camel's hoofprint of earth was left empty.

يقتادهم تلقاءَك الرأيُ العَمِي

أتباع ظنٍّ لهمُ مُرَجَّمِ

Blind judgment leads them toward you,

followers of a guess of theirs, hazarded at random.

شاهتْ وجوهاً واطّلتْ بعِظلمِ

كأنهم ما سمعوا بالهَيثمِ

May their faces be disfigured and daubed with black dye!

As though they had never heard of al-Haytham,

ولا الفحول في الزمانِ الأقدمِ

يا ربَّ يومٍ لهُمُ مُذَمَّمِ

nor the stallion-poets of earlier times.

Ah, how many a day, accursed for them,

شفيتُ منهمْ غُلَّتي وقرمي

وظِلْتَ بالنَّيْكِ لم تَنَغَّمِ

I slaked on them my thirst and craving!

While you kept to fucking, never singing a tune,

تهذي هُذاءَ الرجل المبلسمِ

يرمى المساكين بكُلِّ صيْلَمِ

babbling the babble of a delirious man,

pelting the wretches with every calamity:

شدوكَ في شعرك غيرِ المُحكَمِ

يا لكَ من مُسدىً به ومُلحَمِ

your singing, in your ill-wrought verse!

What a fellow, woven through in warp and weft!

لم ترضَ إلا بالعذابِ المُحْكَمِ

أوهنت أمر النارِ عند المُجرِمِ

You would accept nothing but relentless torment.

You made Hellfire seem slight to the sinner,

وزعتَ بالجنةِ كلَّ مُغْرَمِ

مُسْتَهْترٍ بحُورها متيَّمِ

and used Paradise to deter every infatuated man,

obsessed with its houris, enslaved by love.

نحستَ مزكوماً وإن لم تُزْكَمِ

مِنْ سُدَّةٍ في أنفك المُوَرَّمِ

Accursed, you are snuffling even without a cold,

from a blockage in your swollen nose,

مُحشرج الصدرِ برِطلَيْ بلغمِ

إنْ لا تنخَّع مرةً تنخَّمِ

your chest rattling with two ratls of phlegm.

If you do not cough up mucus once, you hawk up phlegm:

نخامةً كالضِّفدع المُوشَّمِ

دكناءَ رقْطاءَ بقيحٍ أو دمِ

a gob like a tattooed frog,

dusky, speckled with pus or blood,

ممتخِطاً بالكوعِ أو بالمعصمِ

تَضْرِطُ من أنفٍ وتَفْسُو من فمِ

blowing your nose onto wrist-bone or wrist,

farting through your nose and silently farting through your mouth,

ذا نكهةٍ من لم تُمِتْهُ يُصْدَمِ

حتى دعاك الملأُ ارحمْ تُرْحَمِ

with breath that stuns whoever it does not kill,

until the company cried, 'Show mercy, and receive mercy!'

فقطَّعوا اليومَ بغير منعمِ

وانصرفُوا عنكَ بغير مَغنمِ

So they dragged through the day without pleasure,

and left you without any gain,

إلا ثوابَ الصابرين الكُظَّمِ

وما يفي ذاك بذاك المغْرمِ

except the reward of the patient who swallow their anger.

And that does not make up for such a loss.

لا خيرَ في الأسماعِ إنْ لم تُصممِ

ألْجَمَكَ اللَّهُ لجامَ الأبْكمِ

There is no good in ears unless they go deaf!

May God bridle you with a mute man's bridle,

يا شرَّ مخلوعٍ وشرَّ مُلْجَمِ

هاكَ قِرى مِثلكَ لم يُعَتَّمِ

O worst of the unbridled, and worst of the bridled!

Take the hospitality due your like, served without delay,

من شاعرٍ صَدْقِ اللقاءِ مِرْجَمِ

ليس بمغمورٍ ولا بِمُفْحَمِ

from a poet steadfast in combat, a stone-slinger,

neither obscure nor struck speechless,

يرمي المُرامين بلا تَجشُّمِ

بكلِّ سيَّارٍ أحدَّ أدلمِ

pelting rival marksmen without effort,

with every far-flying verse, razor-sharp and dark,

يكدحُ في وجه الصفاةِ الصِّلدمِ

دونكها مثل عصا المكلَّمِ

scoring the face of the hard, solid rock.

Take it, like the staff of him to whom God spoke,

تلقَّفُ الإفك بشدقٍ شدقَمِ

تَهوي هُويَّ الجندل المسوَّمِ

swallowing falsehood with a huge, gaping maw,

plunging like a marked boulder.

وقعتَ مني في النآد السَّلقَمِ

أو تتَّقي الشرَّ بكوعَيْ أجذمِ

You have fallen into a monstrous calamity at my hands,

unless you ward off harm with a handless man's two wrists,

تُوَقِّيَ المسترحم المُسْتَسْلِمِ

حينئذٍ آوي إلى تَكَرُّمي

as one begging mercy and wholly surrendered.

Then I take refuge in my generosity:

لستُ بظلّامٍ ولا مُظلَّمِ

وكنتُ حُلو الطعمِ صُلبَ المعجمِ

I neither oppress nor submit to oppression.

I have been sweet to taste, hard under the testing tooth,

ذا مَلْمَسَيْن مُبْشَرٍ ومُؤْدَمِ

فإنْ تُرِدْ عَفْويَ بعدَ مَنْقَمِ

with two surfaces: the hide's hair-side and flesh-side.

So if you want my pardon after vengeance,

أهَبْكَ للَّهِ وللتَّذَمُّمِ

وإنْ أبى حَيْنُكَ ذاك فاعْزِمِ

I spare you for God's sake and out of honorable scruple.

But if your doom refuses that, then brace yourself,

وابقَ لعوداتِ القوافي واسْلمِ

and remain for the rhymes' return visits—and fare well!