بع واسطاً بالنأي والهجر — Abn Almqrb Alaaona

بِع واسِطاً بِالنَأيِ وَالهَجرِ

وَدَعِ المُرورَ بِها إِلى الحَشرِ

Trade Wāsiṭ for distance and estrangement,

and forgo passing through it until the Resurrection.

أَرضٌ يُدَبِّرُها اِبنُ صابِئَةٍ

شابَت مَفارِقُها عَلى الكُفرِ

A land governed by the son of a Sabian woman

whose temples have grown gray in unbelief.

قَلفاءُ مِن نَبطِ البَطائِحِ لَم

تَمرُر لَها المَوسى عَلى بَظرِ

An uncircumcised woman of the marshland Nabataeans; no

razor has passed over her clitoris.

تَلقى الأُيورَ بِعُنبلٍ خَشِنٍ

مُتَعَثكِلٍ يُوفي عَلى الشِبرِ

She meets cocks with a coarse clitoris,

shaggy, extending beyond a handspan.

قَد سَدَّ واسِعَ قُبلِها عَظمٌ

فَجَميعُ ما وَلَدَت مِن الدُبرِ

A bone has blocked the breadth of her vulva,

so everything she bore came from her anus.

يا اِبنَ الدُيَيثِيِّ اللَعينِ لَقَد

رُمتَ المُحالَ فَغُصتَ في بَحرِ

O son of the accursed al-Duyaythī, the little cuckold, you have indeed

sought the impossible and plunged into a sea.

لَكَ لِحيَةٌ كَالتَيسِ ما بَرِحَت

مِن بَولِهِ في ناطِفٍ تَجري

You have a beard like a he-goat's, which has never ceased

streaming with his urine in dripping syrup.

وَبِها إِذا حاضَت حَليلَتُكَ الر

رَعناءُ تَعرِفُ أَوَّلَ الطُهرِ

And by it, when your wife menstruates—the

foolish woman—you recognize the first return of purity.

وَلَسَوفَ يَحلِقُها أَخُو كَرَمٍ

زاكي الأَرُومَةِ طَيِّبُ النَجرِ

And a generous man will certainly shave it off,

a man of pure stock and noble lineage.

وَهِيَ الَّتي غَرَّتكَ فَاِبغِ لَها

بَيتاً يُحَصِّنُها مِن الظَهرِ

It is what deceived you; seek for it

a house to fortify it from behind.

وَاِجمَع حَوالَيها لِيَمنَعَها

ما اِسطَعتَ مِن مُستَحكَمِ الجَعرِ

And gather around it, to protect it,

all the hard-packed shit you can.

فَلَقَد أَتاها ما سَيَترُكُها

مَرداءَ خالِيَةً مِنَ الشَّعرِ

For something has come upon it that will leave it

bare and empty of hair.

وَلَعَلَّ ذَلِكَ فيهِ مَصلَحَةٌ

لَكَ يا لَئيمُ وَنَحنُ لا نَدري

And perhaps that contains some benefit

for you, vile man—we do not know.

نُمسي كَما قَد كُنتَ مُحتَرَماً

عِندَ الزُناةِ مُعَظَّمَ القَدرِ

We pass the evening, as you once were, respected

among adulterers, held in great esteem.

يُعطيكَ حُكمَكَ كُلُّ ذي شَبَقٍ

يَهوى العُلوقَ مُضَبَّرٍ عُفرِ

Every lustful man gives you what you demand,

a brawny, fierce fellow eager for coupling.

لُقِّبتَ جَهلاً بِالسَديدِ وَما

سُدِّدتَ في نَهيٍ وَلا أَمرِ

In ignorance you were called al-Sadīd, 'the Sound,' yet

you were guided aright in neither prohibition nor command.

وَلَقَد تَسَمَّيتَ الأَديبَ وَفي

أَدَبِ الحِمارِ عَجائِبُ الدَهرِ

You have styled yourself al-Adīb, 'the Learned'; yet in

a donkey's learning lie the wonders of the age.

لَو كُنتَ يا نُوتِيُّ ذا أَدَبٍ

لَخَلَعتَ عَنكَ مَلابِساً تُعري

Had you, boatman, possessed good breeding,

you would have cast off the clothes that lay you bare.

يا تَيسُ قَرنُكَ كُلُّهُ نَقَدٌ

في النَطحِ لا يَقوى عَلى الصَخرِ

O he-goat, your entire horn is brittle,

and cannot withstand rock when butting.

مَهلاً فَقَد نَبَّهتَ لَيثَ شَرىً

أَظفارُهُ وَنُيوبُهُ تَفري

Easy now: you have roused a lion of Sharā,

whose claws and fangs rend.

مِن مَعشَرٍ لَبِسُوا العُلى وَنَشَوا

بَينَ الصَوارِمِ وَالقَنا السُمرِ

From a people who donned high honor and grew up

among sharp swords and dusky spears.

تَختالُ تَحتَهُمُ الجِيادُ إِذا

رَكِبُوا فَيَسمُو الطّرفُ كَالصَقرِ

Fine horses prance beneath them when

they ride, and the steed soars like a falcon.

أَهلُ القِبابِ الحُمرِ إِن نَزَلُوا

قَفراً وَأَهلُ الجامِلِ الدّثرِ

Men of red pavilions, when they alight

in a wilderness, and owners of plentiful camel herds.

وَالراسياتُ مِنَ النَخيلِ لَهُم

وَمُكَرَّماتُ البَرِّ وَالبَحرِ

The firmly rooted palms are theirs,

and the prized things of land and sea.

لا يَرهَبُ الأَيّامَ جارُهُمُ

وَنَزيلُهُم مِن مالِهم يُقري

Their neighbor fears no vicissitudes of time,

and their guest is hospitably fed from their wealth.

أَنكَرتَني وَلَسَوفَ تَعرِفُني

فَتُقِرُّ أَنّي واحِدُ العَصرِ

You denied me, but you shall surely know me,

and acknowledge that I am the peerless man of the age.

فَاِذهَب فراراً كَيفَ شِئتَ فَما

تَنجو بِأَجنِحَةِ القَطا الكُدرِ

So flee however you please; you will not

escape on the wings of dusky sandgrouse.

قَد يُمهِلُ اللَهُ الظَلومَ إِلى

حينٍ وَيَجزي المَكرَ بِالمَكرِ

God may grant the oppressor respite until

a time, and repay scheming with scheming.

أَسرَفتَ في ظُلمِ العِبادِ أَما

لِلبَعثِ في ناديكَ مِن ذِكرِ

You have gone too far in oppressing God's servants; is there no

mention of resurrection in your assembly?

وَأَعَنتَ قُطّاعَ الطَريقِ عَلى

فَقرِ التِجارِ وَخَيبَةِ السَفرِ

And you have aided the highway robbers in

impoverishing merchants and thwarting travelers.

نِصفُ البِضاعَةِ حينَ تَظفرُها

مَكسٌ لَقَد بالغتَ في النُكرِ

Half the merchandise, when you seize it,

is a toll; you have indeed exceeded all bounds in wrongdoing.

خُنتَ الخَليفَةَ في رَعِيَّتِهِ

وَعَصَيتَهُ في السِرِّ وَالجَهرِ

You betrayed the caliph in your treatment of his subjects,

and disobeyed him in secret and openly.

وَتَناقَلَت أَيدي الرِكابِ بِما

أَحدَثتَ في أَيّامِهِ الذِكرِ

And the forelegs of riding camels have carried the report of what

you perpetrated in his days.

فَليَرمِيَنَّكَ بَعضَ أَسهُمِهِ

فَتُبَلُّ مِنكَ بِثَغرَةِ النَحرِ

So let him surely shoot you with some of his arrows,

and let them be drenched at the hollow of your throat.

اِردُد عَلَيَّ بِلا مُراجَعَةٍ

ما خانَني في نَظمِهِ فِكري

Give back to me, without argument,

what my judgment betrayed me into composing.

تُدعى السَديدَ وَما السَدادُ بِأَن

تُستَنكَحَ الحَسنا بِلا مَهرِ

You are called al-Sadīd, but sound conduct does not mean

that a beauty be married without a dowry.

لَكَ مُؤنَةُ العُمُدِ الخِباثِ وَقَد

وُزِنَت فَهَل لَكَ مُؤنَةُ الشِعرِ

You have the charge for the foul poles, which have

been weighed; have you a charge for poetry?

وكَّلت عُثماناً فَوافَقني

فيها وَتابَعَهُ أَبو بَكرِ

You appointed ʿUthmān, and he agreed with me

about it; Abū Bakr followed his lead,

حَتّى خَرَجتُ عَلى حِسابِهما

مِمّا جَلَبتُ بِراحَةٍ صَفرِ

until, by their reckoning, I came away

from what I had brought with an empty palm.

قَد قُلتُ حينَ رَأَيتُ فِعلَهُما

وَيهاً فَهَذا بَيضَة العُقرِ

I said, when I saw what they had done,

'Bravo! This is the last egg before barrenness.'

لا أَخلَفَ الرَحمَنُ مالَ فَتىً

يَأتيكُمُ فَيَبيعُ أَو يَشري

May the Merciful not replenish the wealth of any young man

who comes to you to sell or buy.

هَذا جَزاءُ النَظمِ فيكَ وَقَد

يُجزى الضِراطَ مُقَبِّلُ الحِجرِ

This is the recompense for verse about you; yet

a lap-kisser may be rewarded with farts.

قابَلتَها إِذ أُنشِدَت بِرِضاً

وَعَقَقتَها فَوَقَعتَ عَن خبرِ

You received it with approval when it was recited,

then you disowned it, falling with full knowledge.

وَالعُذرُ لي فيما هَذَيتُ بِهِ

إِن كانَتِ الحُمّى مِن العُذرِ

I have an excuse for the delirium I uttered,

if fever counts among excuses.

أَلا فَمِثلُكَ لا أَجُودُ لَهُ

بِالمَدحِ في نَظمٍ وَلا نَثرِ

Indeed, I will not lavish on the likes of you

praise in either verse or prose.

هِيَ سَبعَةٌ تَأتيكَ سَبعَ مائىٍ

تُنسِيكَها وَالحَصدُ لِلبَذرِ

It is seven verses; seven hundred will come to you

to make you forget it; the harvest comes from the seed.

عَن كُلِّ بَيتٍ صادِرٍ مائَةٌ

وَجَزاءُ مِثلي لَيسَ بِالنَزرِ

A hundred for every verse issued,

and the recompense of someone like me is no trifle.

فَاِصبِر لَها يا نَذلُ لا كَرَماً

فَالكَلبُ يُجزى القَتلَ بِالعَقرِ

So bear it patiently, vile man—not out of generosity;

a dog is rewarded with death for biting.