مسافرة بلا مهمة — Abdullah Al Bardouni

يا رؤى اللَّيل يا عيونَ الظهيرةْ

هل رأيتُنَّ موطني والعَشيرةْ؟

O visions of night, O eyes of noon,

Have you seen my homeland and my clan?

هل رأيتُنَّ (يَحصُباً) أو (عسيراً)؟

كان عندي هناكَ أهلٌ وجِيرَةْ

Have you seen Yahsub or Asir?

I had family and neighbors there,

ودوالٍ تشقَرُّ فيها اللَّيالي

ويمدُّ الضُّحى عليها سريرَهْ

And grapevines in which the nights turn golden,

And morning spreads its bed over them;

وروابٍ عيونُهُنَّ شموسٌ

وعليهِنَّ كُلُّ نجمٍ ضفيرَةْ

And hills whose eyes are suns,

And upon them every star is a braid;

وسفوحٌ تَهمي ثُغاءً وحبّاً

وحقولٌ تَروي نبوغَ الحظيرَةْ

And slopes pouring down bleating and love,

And fields recounting the genius of the fold;

وبيوتٌ ينسى الضُيوُف لديها

قلقَ الدارِ وانتظارَ المُديرَةْ

And houses where guests forget

The home's anxiety and waiting for the manageress.

يا رؤى، يا نجومُ أين بلادي؟

لي بلادٌ كانت بشبهِ الجزيرَةْ

O visions, O stars, where is my country?

I have a country that was on the peninsula.

أخبرَوا أنَّها تجلَّتْ عروساً

وامتَطَتْ هُدهداً، وطارت أسيرَةْ

They reported that she appeared as a bride

And mounted a hoopoe, and flew away captive.

وإلى أينَ يا نجومُ؟ فَتُومي

ما عرفنا، يا أختُ بدءَ المسيرَةْ

And where to, O stars? Then they gesture:

We never knew, sister, where the journey began.

مَنْ أنا يا مدى؟ وأنكرُ صوتي

ويَعُبُّ السِّفارُ وجهَ السَّفيرةْ

Who am I, O expanse? I deny my own voice,

And journeying gulps down the envoy's face.

مَنْ أشاروا عليَّ كانوا غباءٌ

ليَتُهمْ موضعي وكنتِ المُشيرةْ

Those who advised me were stupidity itself.

Would they were in my place, and you the adviser.

كيفَ اختارُ.. كيف؟ ليسَ أمامي

غيرُ دربٍ، فليسَ في الأمرِ خيرَةْ

How can I choose—how? Before me there is

Only one path, so there is no choice in the matter.

رحلَتْ مثلما يحثُّ سُراهُ

موكبُ الرِّيحِ في اللَّيالي المَطيرَةْ

She departed as its night journey is urged on

By the wind's procession on rainy nights.

وارتدى (الفارُ) ناهديْها وأنسَتْ

هجرةُ المنحنى خُطاها الأخيرَهْ

And the mouse donned her breasts, while she was made to forget

Her final steps by the bend's migration.

ورَووْا: أشأمَتْ على غيرِ قصدٍ

ثمَّ أمسَتْ على (دمشقَ) أميرَةْ

They related: she headed toward al-Sham unintentionally,

Then became a princess over Damascus.

قلعتي، يا شامُ ريحٌ وريحٌ

زرعَتني هُنا كُروماً عصيرَةْ

My fortress, O Sham, is wind; and a wind

Planted me here as juice-rich vineyards.

وبرغْمي نزلْتُ غيرَ مكاني

مثلما تلتقي العظامُ النَّثيرَهْ

Against my will I alighted somewhere not my own,

As scattered bones come together.

وبلا موسمٍ تَنَامَتْ وحَيتْ

بالرياحينِ والكؤوسِ النَّضيرةْ

Without a season she grew and greeted

With fragrant herbs and fresh goblets.

"وسقتْ من أتى البريصُ إليها

بَرَدَى خمرةً"ونُعْمى وفيرَةْ

And she served whoever came to her at al-Baris

Barada as wine, and abundant bliss.

وعَلَتْ جبهةُ (الخورنَقِ)تاجاً

يا (سِنِمَّارُ) أيّ عُقْبى مُثيرَةْ؟!

And the brow of al-Khawarnaq rose as a crown.

O Sinimmar, what a startling fate!

وهَمَتْ كالنُّجومِ سَعْداً ونحْساً

وعطايا وحشَّيةً ومُجيرَةْ

She poured down, like stars, fortune and misfortune,

And gifts both savage and sheltering.

"أنتِ كاللَّيلِ مُدركي" من أمامي

وورائي.. كلُّ النَّواحي ضريرَةْ

‘You are like night, overtaking me’—from before me

And behind me; every direction is blind.

وحكَوْا: أنَّها ثيابُ سواها

جمَّلَتْها وأنَّها مُستيعرَةْ

They said: it was others' clothing

That adorned her, and she was borrowing it.

فرأوْها وصيفةً عندَ (روما)

ورأوْها في بابِ (كِسري) خفيرَةْ

So they saw her as a handmaiden in Rome,

And saw her at Khosrow's gate as a guard;

وبعيراً لبنتِ (باذانَ) حيناً

وأواناً تحتَ (النَّجاشي) بعيرَةْ

And for a time, a camel for Badhan's daughter,

And at another time, a she-camel beneath the Negus.

عندما أحرقَتْ بـ(نجرانَ) غَزواً

كان ينوي، صارت رمادَ الجزيرَةْ

When she burned, at Najran, an invasion

He had intended, she became the peninsula's ashes.

أطفأتْ بالثِّقابِ مدَّ جحيمٍ

أتراها ملومّةً أم عذيرَةْ؟

She quenched hell's swelling tide with matches.

Do you see her as blameworthy or excusable?

فتهاوَت حَصىً وطارتْ عُيوناً

هربَتْ من وجوهِها مُستجيرَةْ

Then she tumbled down as pebbles and flew as eyes,

Fleeing her own faces to seek refuge.

وإلى أينَ ثانياً يا منافي

والإجاباتُ كالسُّؤالِ مريرَةْ؟

And where to a second time, O lands of exile,

When answers are bitter as the question?

نزلَتْ (يَثرباً) هشيماً فكانَتْ

بالعناقيدِ والرَّفيفِ بشيرَةْ

She alighted in Yathrib as dry brush, and became

A herald with grape clusters and fluttering.

فتناغى النَّخيلُ: من أينَ جاءتْ

هذه الكَرْمةُ العجوزُ النَّكيرَةْ؟

Then the palms murmured together: From where has come

This strange old grapevine?

جِئتُ يا عمُّ من جدوري أرجِّى

تربةً من رمادِ حُزني قريرَةْ

I came, uncle, from my roots, hoping for

A tranquil soil from the ashes of my grief.

وتجلَّتْ في ذلكَ القَفْرِ دُوراً

وقطوفاً تومي بأيد منيرَةْ

In that wasteland she appeared as houses

And fruit clusters beckoning with luminous hands;

ونخيلاً من السُّيوفِ المَواضي

وسيوفاً من القوافي الجَهيرَةْ

And palms made of keen-edged swords,

And swords made of resounding rhymes.

وارتمتْ في (حِرا) طريقاً وكهفاً

ثم أَضْحتْ مَنذورةً ونذيرَةْ

She cast herself into Hira as a path and a cave,

Then became consecrated and a warner,

ومصَلَّى، وخندقاً وحصوناً

ونبيّاً، وسورةً مُستطيرَةْ

And a place of prayer, a trench and fortresses,

And a prophet and a far-spreading surah.

وليالٍ مَضتْ وجاءت ليالٍ

وانقضَتْ عُسْرةٌ وجاءتْ عسيرَةْ

Nights passed, and other nights came,

A hardship ended, and another hardship came.

فانتضَتْ في يد (السَّقيفةِ) (سعداً)

أكبرُ القومِ للأمورِ الكبيرةْ

So in al-Saqifa's hand she unsheathed Sa'd,

The greatest of the people for great affairs.

يا قريشُ اذكري نَمَتْنا جميعاً

صُحبةٌ سَمْحةٌ وقُرْبى أثيرَةْ

O Quraysh, remember: what nurtured us all was

A gracious companionship and cherished kinship.

فلكِ السَبقُ والجبينُ المُحلَّى

وأنا الجبهةُ الشَّموخُ النَّصيرَةْ

Yours are precedence and the adorned brow,

And I am the lofty, supporting forehead.

أنتِ أمّارةٌ.. أنا – ثُمَّ قالوا:

سَكَتَتْ قبلَ أن تقولَ – وزيرةْ

You are the commander; I am—then they said:

She fell silent before saying—minister.

دهشةُ البدِ ضيَّعتْ منْ خُطاها

أوَّلَ الدَّربِ وهي حَيْرى حسيرَةْ

The shock of beginning robbed her footsteps of

The road's first stretch; she was bewildered and weary.

وجهُها غاصَ في غُبارِ المرايا

واسْمُها ضاعَ في الأماسي الغفيرَةْ

Her face sank into the dust of mirrors,

And her name was lost among innumerable evenings.

أينَ (سعدٌ)؟ قالوا: رماهُ عِشاءً

ماردٌ من (قُبا) يُسمَّى (بجيرَةْ)

Where is Sa'd? They said: he was shot at night

By a demon from Quba called Bujayra.

وحكَوْا: أنَّها استعارتْ وجوهاً

خبَّأتْ تحتَها الوجوهَ الكسيرَةْ

They related that she borrowed faces

Beneath which she hid her broken faces.

وإلى أينَ ثالثاً؟ هل لسْيري

وانثنائي مهمَّةٌ بي جديرَةْ؟

And where to a third time? Is there for my journey

And my turning back a mission worthy of me?

ًأصبحَ الصَّارمُ اليماني يكَفّي

(مِروَداً) في يدَيْ فتاةٍ غريرَةْ

The cutting Yemeni sword came to suffice

As a kohl-stick in an innocent girl's hands.

وطَغَتْ رِدّةٌ فعادتْ نبيّاً

ونخيلاً منَ السُّيوفِ الشهيرَةْ

Apostasy surged, so she became a prophet again

And palms made of renowned swords.

وإلى أينَ رابِعاَ؟ لقتالٍ

جَنَّحتْ خيلُهُ وشَبَّتْ نفيرَةْ

And where to a fourth time? To battle

Whose horses took wing, and whose call to arms flared.

مَنْ رآني خُضْتُ الفتوحاتِ لكِنْ

عُدْتُ مِنها إحدى السَّبايا الطَّريرَةَ

Who saw me? I plunged into the conquests, but

Returned from them as one of the lovely captives.

وإلى أين خامساً.. يا قوافي؟

هاجرَ الحبُّ والرَّوابي الخَضيرَةْ

And where to a fifth time, O rhymes?

Love migrated, and so did the green hills.

فأتَتْ ثانياً (دمشق) غراماً

قَمَريَّ الجبينِ، باكي السريرَةْ

She came again to Damascus as a passion,

Moon-browed, with a weeping heart.

قصرُ (أم البنينَ) هذا عليه

– حسبما أخبرَتْ – سِماتٌ كثيرةْ

This is Umm al-Banin's palace; upon it

Are many signs—as she reported.

جرَّبت أعسرَ الفتوحِ خيولي

فلأُجرَّب هذي الفتوحَ اليسيرَة

My horses have tried the hardest conquests,

So let me try these easy conquests.

لم أجدْ (روضةً) فأدركتُ أزهى

لعبةِ حلوة ولكنْ خطيرةْ

I did not find Rawda, so I reached the most splendid

Game—sweet, but dangerous.

وعلى موعدٍ رقَت في ثوانٍ

كتِفَ القصرِ بالهوى مُستنيرَةْ

At an appointment she climbed, within seconds,

The palace's shoulder, illumined by desire.

فِتَنٌ فوقَ ما يظنُّ التمنّي،

غرفةٌ فوقَ وصفِها بالوثيرَةْ

Temptations beyond what wishing imagines,

A room beyond description as sumptuous.

لحظةً والتوى السريرُ ضريحاً

خشبيّاً يموتُ، يطوي زفيرَه

In an instant the bed twisted into a tomb,

Wooden, dying, folding in its sigh.

إيهِ (وضَّاحُ) دونكَ البئرَ فانزِلْ

قطعةً دونَ وصفِها بالحقيرَهْ

Ah, Waddah! There is the well before you: descend,

As a fragment too lowly even to be called paltry.

ولهَتْ (ديدَمُونةٌ) في عُلاها

(وعطيلُ) الهوى صريعُ الحفيرَةْ

Desdemona pined in her lofty station,

And the Othello of love lay slain in the pit.

هكذا أخبرُوا، لأنَّ بلادي

خنجرُ الآخرينَ وهي العَقيرَةْ

So they reported, for my country is

Others' dagger, while she is the slaughtered victim.

ما الذي جدَّ؟ أعولَ الثَّأرُ حتَّى

ليسَ يدري قَبيلَهُ ودبيرَهْ

What has happened? Vengeance wailed so hard that

It no longer knew its front from its back.

فارتقى (هاشمٌ) و(مروانُ) ولَّي

وهي ملغيَّةُ الحسابِ هجيرَةْ

Hashim rose, and Marwan turned away,

While she was excluded from the reckoning, forsaken.

مَنْ أنا؟ وانْجلَتْ لها من بعيدٍ

لوزُ (همدانَ) كالنُّجومِ الصغيرَةْ

Who am I? From afar there appeared to her

Hamdan's almonds, like little stars.

ذكرَتْ أن موطناً كان فيها

نسيَتْ بَدأهُ وتنسى مصيرَهْ

She remembered that a homeland had been within her;

She forgot its beginning, and forgets its fate.

فانثَنَتْ (هادياً) وقالت: تُرابي،

يا كنوزَ الرَّشيدِ اغلى دخيرَةْ

Then she turned back as Hadi and said: My soil,

O treasures of al-Rashid, is the most precious hoard.

حِقبةٌ، والتَوتْ رُباً من أفاع

غادراتٍ وهي الضَّحايا الغديرَة

An age passed, and she twisted into hills of vipers,

Treacherous—while she was the faithless victims.

تَوَّجَتْ، أسقطَتْ على غيرِ هَدي

وأنتقَتْ دون رؤيةٍ أو بَصيرَةْ

She crowned and toppled without guidance,

And chose without vision or insight.

فانتهَتْ (فاطميَّةٌ) وهي (أروى)

ظاهِراً، خلفَهُ سِجلٌّ وسيرَةْ

So she ended as a Fatimid, and was Arwa

Outwardly; behind it lay a record and a life story.

وتسمَّت بـ(القرمطيِّ) ولكن

أنقصتْها الممارساتُ القديرَةْ

She named herself after al-Qarmati, but

Powerful practices diminished her.

فنفَت وادَّعتْ، كما شاء داعٍ

لبِستْ وجههَا وأخفَتْ ضميرَهْ

So she denied and claimed, as a preacher wished;

She wore her own face and concealed his conscience.

وأسرَّتْ قُدساً وأبدَتْ شِعاراً

خلفَهُ – لو علِمْتَ – ألفُ شعيرَةْ

She concealed sanctity and displayed a slogan,

Behind which—if you knew—lay a thousand rites.

واستحرَّت خلفَ (النجاحي) وأدمى

في رُباها خيولَهُ وحميرَهْ

She grew fiercely hot behind al-Najahi, and he bloodied

His horses and donkeys upon her hills.

ثُمَّ صارَتْ (مهديَّةً) (ورسولاً)

نزلَت وادياً أضاعَتْ شفيرَهْ

Then she became Mahdist, and Rasul,

She descended into a valley and lost its rim.

فأقامت في كُل صقع إماماً

هيَّأتْ نعشَه وحاكَتْ حريرَهْ

In every region she installed an imam,

Prepared his bier and wove his silk.

وتساقَتْ دماً وشوقاً إليهِ

وهي أظما إلى المياهِ النَّميره

She drank in turn blood and longing for him,

While she was thirstier for sweet, pure waters.

من أتى؟ عاصفٌ من التُّركِ طاغٍ

فلأمزِّقْ حلوقَهُ وهديرَهْ

Who has come? A tyrannical storm from the Turks.

Let me tear apart his throats and his roar.

إنَّه يقذفُ السَّعيرَ المُدوِّي

فلأردِّدْ إلى حشاهُ سعيرَهْ

He hurls resounding fire,

So let me send his fire back into his entrails.

وأعدَّتْ لَهُ القبورَ إلى أنْ

دَفَنَتْ عهْدهُ، أجَدَّتْ نظيرَهْ

She readied graves for him, until

She buried his reign, then renewed its counterpart.

وتراخى عهدٌ عثيرُ اللَّيالي

وارتَخَتْ تحتَ رُكبتيْهِ عثيرَةْ

An age of dusty nights slackened,

And she slumped beneath its knees, dusty herself.

وبلا يقظةٍ أفاقَتْ ومدَّتْ

(حزْيزَاً) شُعلةً إلى (ضُبْرِ خِيْرَةْ)

Without wakefulness she awoke and extended

Haziz as a flame toward Dubr Khayra.

وهناكَ انطفَتْ وأطفَتْ وقالوا:

خبزَتْ للخُلودِ أشهى فطيرَةْ

There she went out and put out the flame; they said:

She baked for eternity the most delicious flatbread.

وحَكَوْا: أنَّها أرادت.. ولكن

جيدُها المُنحني قدِ اعْتادَ نِيْرَهْ

They said she had wanted to—but

Her bent neck had grown accustomed to its yoke.

وطوَتْ أربعاً وعشراً، مُناها

مُسرعاتٌ لكنْ خُطاها قصيرَةْ

She folded away fourteen; her wishes

Hurried, but her steps were short.

رُبَّما تخدعُ البروقُ عيوني

رُبَّما تحتَها غيوثٌ غزيرَةْ

Perhaps lightning deceives my eyes,

Perhaps beneath it lie abundant rains.

أيَّ شيءٍ أريدُ؟ ما عدتُ أغْفو

أقلقَ العصرُ مرقدي وشخيرَهْ

What do I want? I no longer doze.

The age disturbed my bed and its snoring.

وهنا أنهتِ الإماماتِ، هَبَّتْ

مِنْ أساها تقودُ أبهى مسيرَةْ

Here she ended the imamates and rose

From her sorrow, leading the most splendid procession.

هَلَّ (أيلول) مولداً وربيعاً

لم تَزَلْ تحملُ الفصولُ عبيرَهْ

September dawned as a birth and a spring;

The seasons still carry its fragrance.

وقِلاعاً تَثْني المغيرين صَرْعى

وتلالاً مدجَّجَاتٍ مغيرَةْ

And fortresses that turn back raiders, leaving them slain,

And armored hills mounting raids.

ثُمَّ ماذا؟ أَسْمَتْ (سعيداً) (نبيلاً)

ودعَتْ (شُعلةً) (هدى) أو (سميرَةْ)

Then what? She named Sa'id Nabil,

And called Shu'la Huda, or Samira.

غيَّرتْ شَعْرَ جلدِها وهي لمَّا

تتغيَّرْ ولَمْ تُغِّيرْ وتيرَهْ

She changed her skin's hair, though she had not yet

Changed, nor altered her rhythm.

فترةً واجتلت قناعاً يحلِّي

جَبَهاتٍ إلى القَفا مُستديرَةْ

For a while she beheld a mask adorning

Foreheads turned round toward the nape.

أصبحَتْ أطوعَ المطايا ولكِنْ

بالتواءِ الدُّروبِ ليستْ خبيرَةْ

She became the most docile of mounts, but

Was no expert in twisting paths.

فلأُسافرْ كعادتي، كلُّ قفرٍ

ذبْتُ في نبتِهِ سكنْتُ صفيرَهْ

So let me travel, as always; every wasteland—

I melted into its growth, dwelt in its whistling.

ورمادي خلفي يعدُّ رجوعي

يعجنُ الرِّيحَ باحثاً عن خميرَةْ

My ashes behind me prepare my return,

Kneading the wind, searching for yeast.

رحلَ النَّبعُ من جذوري فهَّيا

يا هشيمَ الغُصونِ نَتْبَع خريرَهْ

The spring departed from my roots, so come,

O dry brush of the branches, let us follow its gurgling.

وإلى أين، يا منافي أخيراً؟

وتشظَّتْ في كُلَّ مَنفى أجيرَةْ

And where to at last, O lands of exile?

In every exile she splintered as a hired laborer.

هكذا ما حرى لأنَّ بلادي

ثروةُ الآخرينَ، وهي الفقيرَةْ

So it happened, for my country is

Others' wealth, while she herself is poor.