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I lied to myself and pretended

كذبت على نفسي فحدثت أنني

1. I lied to myself and pretended
That I was fine so they would deny it when I was truthful

١. كَذَبتُ عَلى نَفسي فَحَدَّثتُ أَنَّني
سَلَوتُ لِكَيما يُنكِروا حينَ أَصدُقُ

2. It wasn't because I was bored or tired of you
But I was protecting you and caring for you

٢. وَما عَن قِلىً مِنّي وَلا عَن مَلالَةٍ
وَلَكِنَّني أُبقي عَليكِ وَأُشفِقُ

3. Separation is nothing but a shield I wore
To protect you from what we fear and avoid

٣. وَما الهَجرُ إِلّا جُنَّةٌ لي لَبِستُها
أَقيكِ بِها مِمّا نَخافُ وَنَفرَقُ

4. I was gentle with your secrets and covered them
With a shirt of concealment that won't rip

٤. عَطَفتُ عَلى أَسرارِكُم فَكَسَوتُها
قَميصاً مِن الكِتمانِ لا يَتَخَرَّقُ

5. I have two kinds of tears: one flows
While the other chokes with sobbing

٥. وَلي عَبرَتانِ ما تُفيقانِ عَبرَةٌ
تَفيضُ وَأُخرى بِالصَبابَةِ تُخنَقُ

6. I have two days: one where my body suffers
From my own pains, the other bowed in thought

٦. وَيَومانِ يَومٌ فيهِ جِسمي مُعَذَّبٌ
بِما بي وَيَومٌ بِالتَفَكُّرِ مُطرِقُ

7. My greatest share of you is that when
The wind blows to me from your direction, I revive

٧. وَأَكبَرُ حَظّي مِنكِ أَنّي إِذا جَرَت
لِيَ الريحُ مِن تِلقائِكُم أِتَنَشَّقُ

8. Al-Hurr ibn Yazid al-Nawfal claimed that he
Was more apt to tears and passions than I

٨. وَقَد زَعَمَ الحُرُّ اِبنُ نَوفَلَ أَنَّ ذا
أَصَبُّ وَأَجرى لِلدُّموعِ وَأَشوَقُ

9. So I said to him: I wish my share were that
When love doesn't fulfill me, the tears would trickle

٩. فَقُلتُ لَهُ يا لَيتَ حَظِّيَ أَنَّها
إِذا لَم تُحَقِّق لي الهَوى تَتَخَلَّقُ