ذكريات — Jawahiri

يا " ذكرياتُ " تَحَشَّدي فِرقا

تسَعُ الخيالَ وتملأُ الأُفُقا

O memories, muster yourselves in bands,

That encompass the imagination and fill the horizon.

وتأهَّبي زُمراً تجهزني

محضَ الأسى ، والذُّعرَ ، والقلقا

And ready yourselves in throngs to furnish me

With pure sorrow, terror, and anxiety.

هُزِّي الرِّتاجَ عليَّ أُحكِمُه

وتقحَّمي البابَ الذي انغلقا

Shake the great door I fasten shut upon myself,

And force your way through the door that has closed.

الليلُ صُبِّي في قرارتهِ

من وحشةٍ ما يفزَعُ الغَسَقا

Into the depths of night pour

Such desolation as would frighten the dusk.

والريحُ خلِّيها اذا صفِرَت

في البيت تُوسِعُ من به فَرقَا

And the wind—let it, when it whistles

In the house, overwhelm those within with fear.

خَلِّي الصغار من الأسى فَزَعاً

يتساءلون : من الذي طَرَقا

Let the children, terrified by sorrow,

Ask one another: who was it that knocked?

ودَعي الكِبار يرَوْنَ مدخنَةً

فيه ولا يجدون محترِقا

And let the grown-ups see a chimney

Within it, yet find nothing burning.

والنَوم من فَزَعِ " الرؤى " يبساً

رُدِّيه ، او بدمائها غَرِقا

And sleep—parched by the terror of visions,

Or drowned in their blood—return it,

ليعودَ مما " تنفُثين " به

مِسخاً فلا نَوماً ولا أرَقا

So that, from what you breathe upon it, it returns

A monstrosity—neither sleep nor sleeplessness.

والصبحُ رُدِّيه لَمبْسِمه

شَرِقاً وبالعبرات مُختنِقاً

And dawn—return it to its smiling mouth,

Choking and stifled with tears.

ثم اطلِعي من كلِّ زاوية

ذاك الجبينَ ووجهَه الطَلِقا

Then reveal, from every corner,

That brow and his cheerful face.

حتى إذا انتصف الأصيل به

فتكوّري في صُلبه شَفَقا

Until, when late afternoon is half-spent over him,

Then curl within his spine as twilight.

ثم اسكُبي نَضْحَ الدماء به

ثم ابعَثي من نَشْرها عَبِقا

Then pour the spatter of blood upon him,

Then send forth fragrance from its scent.

وتمزّقي قِطَعاً مضرّجةً

تمتصُّ من نَضَحاتِه عَلَقا

And tear yourselves into bloodstained pieces,

That suck clotted blood from his spatter,

فكأن فيها الصُلْبَ منغلقاً

بجراحه ، والصدرَ منخرقا

As though within them the spine were sealed

With its wounds, and the chest torn open.

يا ذكريات تجسَّدي بَدَناً

غضَّ الصِّبَا ، وتعطَّري خُلُقا

O memories, embody yourselves in a body

Tender with youth, and be fragrant in character:

عُريانَ : لا خَتَلا ، ولا وَغَراً

ضَحْيانَ : لا صَلَفاً ، ولا مَلَقا

Naked: no deceit and no rancor;

Sunlit: no arrogance and no flattery.

لم تتركي من كلِّ شاردةٍ

نَمَطاً ، ولا من نأمةٍ نَسَقا

You have left out, of every fleeting thought,

No pattern, nor any sequence of a faint sound.

ثم ابدَهيني كلَّ آونةٍ

منها بما يستامُني رَهَقا

Then startle me at every moment

With whatever among them afflicts me with distress.

يا ذكرياتٌ كلُّها حُرقٌ

تَطَأ الفُؤادَ ، وتلهبُ الحَدَقا

O memories, all of you burning pangs,

That trample the heart and set the pupils ablaze.

من لي بشِعرٍ خالقٍ شجناً

للناس يُعجزهم بما خَلَقا

Who will give me poetry that creates sorrow

For people, leaving them helpless before what it has created?

هي صُورة حمراءُ من شَجني

تُدمي اليَراع وتُرعب الوَرَقا

It is a crimson image of my sorrow

That bloodies the reed pen and terrifies the paper.

ليَرىَ الذين تجاهَلوا برَمَاً

أسيانَ : كيفُ يُكابد الحُرَقا

So those who ignored a weary man may see

Him grief-stricken—how he endures burning pangs.

من لي باطيافٍ تُراوحني

بالهمِّ مُصطبَحاً ومُغتبَقا

Who will give me phantoms that visit me in turn,

With sorrow for my morning and evening draught?

متسلسلات كلما وَجَدَتْ

فيها فراغاً ، أفَرغَتْ حَلقا

Linked in succession: whenever they find

A gap among them, they cast links into it;

مستجمعات كلَّ خاطرةٍ

ما جدَّ من عهدٍ وما خَلِقا

Gathering every passing thought,

Of times still fresh and times grown worn.

ما كان مثلَ القبر مُختفياً

تُبديه مثلَ النجم مُنبثِقا

What was hidden like the grave

They reveal it, bursting forth like a star,

فَرِحاً ومكتئباً ومختلِطاً

بهما ، ومُتَّحداً ، ومفترِقا

Joyful and dejected and blended

With both, united and divided.

من لي بها وكأنَّها بشرٌ

عن نفسه يَروي اذا نطَقا

Who will give me these, as though they were a person

Who tells of himself whenever he speaks?

من لي باشباحٍ أنوءُ بها

رَسْفَ السجين بقيَدِه عَلِقا

Who will give me specters beneath whose weight I stagger,

Shuffling like a prisoner caught in his fetter?

حتى اذا انصَرَمَت بدا شَبَحٌ

حُلوٌ يكادُ يُطيرني نَزَقا

Until, when they vanish, an apparition appears,

Sweet, almost sending me flying with giddy delight.

طوراً نَروح معاً على ظَمَاً

منها ، وطوراً نستَقي غَدَقا

At times we go together in thirst

Born of them, and at times we draw abundant water.

يوماً بقَعر البيت يُوغرنا

حَنَقاً ، قضاءٌ مُوغِر حَنِقا

One day, in the depths of the house, we are inflamed

With rage by a wrathful fate that kindles rage.

وهُنيهة نرتاد مُرتفِعاً

من هَضْب " لبنانٍ " ومُنْزَلِقا

And for a moment we explore a height

Among Lebanon's uplands, and a slippery slope.

من لي بها تَعتادُ قارئها

فَرَقاً ، كما تَعتادني فَرَقا

Who will give me these, that haunt their reader

With fear, just as they haunt me with fear,

وتردُّ – مثلي – عيشَه رَنِقاً

وتَسُدُّ – مثلي – حَولَه الطُرقا

And, as with me, make his life murky,

And, as with me, block the roads around him?

من لي بشِعرٍ خالقٍ حُرَقاً

تطأ الفؤادَ وتُلهِبُ الحَدَقا

Who will give me poetry that creates burning pangs

That trample the heart and set the pupils ablaze,

ليريُهم القلبينِ قد لَصِقا

صِنويَن ، كيف اذا هُما افتَرَقا

To show them the two hearts that had clung together,

Twins—how they were when they parted,

واذا هما – والموت بينهما

مدّا من الجْيدينِ فاعتَنَقا

And when, with death between them, the two

Stretched forth their necks and embraced,

وتساءَلا : ما ضرَّ لو سلكا

كَفَناً معاً ، وبحبله عَلِقا

And asked each other what harm it would do to slip into

One shroud together and cling to its cord?

حتى اذا استبقى احرُّهما

رَمَقاً ، واسلَمَ خِدنُهُ رَمَقا

Until, when the more ardent of the two retained

A breath of life, and his companion gave up his last breath,

وحثا التُرابَ بوجهه قَدَرٌ

عبّا لكل مُفارق طَبَقا

And fate flung dust into his face,

Having filled a platter for everyone who parts,

وانداحَتِ الدنيا بناظرِه

حتى لظَنَّ رحابَها نَفَقا

And the world spread out before his gaze,

Until he thought its wide expanses a tunnel,

ومضى حسابُّهما برُمَّته

ما انفكَّ من دَين وما انغَلَقا

And their entire reckoning was over,

What debt was unbound, and what was closed,

صَفَقَ اليدين كأنَّ مرتجِعاً

يرجُو لصاحِبه بما صَفَقا

He clapped his hands, as though a return

For his companion were what he hoped for through his clapping,

وكأنما يُعطي الشقيقَ دماً

ان الشقيقَ بدمعه شَرِقا

And as though he were giving his brother blood,

If his brother choked on his tears,

وكأنما انشقَّ الضريحُ له

بـ " رعى السحابُ ضريحَه وسَقَى "

And as though the tomb had split open for him

With "May the clouds tend his tomb and water it."