في ذمة الله ما ألقى وما أجد — Jawahiri

في ذِمَّةِ اللهِ ما ألقَى وما أجِدُ

أهذِهِ صَخرةٌ أمْ هذِه كبِدُ

All I face and all I feel are in God's keeping.

Is this a rock, or is this a liver?

قدْ يقتُلُ الحُزنُ مَنْ أحبابهُ بَعُدوا

عنه فكيفَ بمنْ أحبابُهُ فُقِدوا

Grief may kill one whose loved ones have gone far away

From him; what then of one whose loved ones are lost?

تَجري على رِسْلِها الدُنيا ويتبَعُها

رأيٌ بتعليلِ مَجراها ومُعتقَد

The world runs on at its own pace, followed by

An opinion explaining its course, and a belief.

أعيا الفلاسفةَ الأحرارَ جهلُهمُ

ماذا يخِّبي لهمْ في دَفَّتيهِ غد

Their ignorance has wearied the free-thinking philosophers:

What does tomorrow hide for them between its two covers?

طالَ التَمحْلُ واعتاصتْ حُلولُهم

ولا تزالُ على ما كانتِ العُقَد

Long has their contriving lasted, and their solutions grown intractable,

Yet the knots remain just as they were.

ليتَ الحياةَ وليت الموتَ مرَحمَةٌ

فلا الشبابُ ابنُ عشرينٍ ولا لبَد

Would that life, and death as well, were mercy,

So no youth died at twenty, nor Lubad lived on,

ولا الفتاةُ بريعانِ الصِبا قُصفَتْ

ولا العجوزُ على الكّفينِ تَعتمِد

No girl were cut down in the bloom of youth,

And no old woman leaned upon both hands.

وليتَ أنَّ النسورَ استُنزفَتْ نَصفاً

أعمارُهنَّ ولم يُخصصْ بها أحد

Would that the vultures were stripped of half

Their lifespans, with no one singled out to receive them.

حُييَّتِ » أُمَّ فُراتٍ » إنَّ والدة

بمثلِ ما انجبَتْ تُكنى بما تَلِد

Greetings, Umm Furat! Indeed, a mother

Who has borne such children is named for those she bears.

تحيَّةً لم أجِدْ من بثِّ لاعِجِها

بُدّاً ، وإنْ قامَ سدّاً بيننا اللَحد

A greeting: from pouring out its burning anguish I found

No escape, though the grave stood as a wall between us.

بالرُوح رُدِّي عليها إنّها صِلةٌ

بينَ المحِبينَ ماذا ينفعُ الجَسد

Respond to it in spirit: it is a bond

Between those who love; what use is the body?

عزَّتْ دموعيَ لو لمْ تَبعثي شَجَناً

رَجعت مِنه لحرِّ الدمع أبترِد

My tears would have been scarce, had you not stirred a grief

From which I turned to burning tears to cool myself.

خَلعتُ ثوبَ اصطِبارٍ كانَ يَستُرنُي

وبانَ كِذبُ ادِعائي أنَّني جَلِد

I cast off the robe of patience that had covered me,

And my claim to fortitude was shown to be a lie.

بكَيتُ حتَّى بكا من ليسَ يعرِفُني

ونُحتُ حتَّى حكاني طائرٌ غَرِد

I wept until even those who did not know me wept,

And I wailed until a tuneful bird echoed me.

كما تَفجَّرَ عَيناً ثرَّةً حجَرٌ

قاسٍ تفَجَّرَ دمعاً قلبيَ الصَلد

As a stone bursts forth into a gushing spring,

Hard though it is, so my flinty heart burst into tears.

إنّا إلى اللهِ ! قولٌ يَستريحُ بهِ

ويَستوي فيهِ مَن دانوا ومَن جَحدوا

Indeed, to God we return—a saying that brings rest

And in which believers and deniers are alike.

مُدَّي إليَّ يَداً تُمْدَدْ إليكِ يدُ

لابُدَّ في العيشِ أو في الموتِ نتَّحِد

Stretch out a hand to me, and a hand will reach for you;

In life or death, we must be united.

كُنَّا كشِقَّينِ وافي واحداً قدَرٌ

وأمرُ ثانيهما مِن أمرِهِ صَدَد

We were like two halves; fate overtook one,

And the lot of the other is close to that one's.

ناجيتُ قَبرَكِ استوحي غياهِبَهُ

عن ْحالِ ضيفٍ عليهُ مُعجَلا يفد

I communed with your grave, seeking answers from its darkness

About the condition of a guest coming to it in haste.

وردَّدَتْ قفرةٌ في القلبِ قاحِلةٌ

صَدى الذي يَبتغي وِرْداً فلا يجِد

And a barren wilderness within my heart repeated

The echo of one seeking water, but finding none.

ولَفَّني شَبَحٌ ما كانَ أشبَههُ

بجَعْدِ شَعركِ حولَ الوجهِ يَنعْقد

And a phantom enfolded me—how like it was

To your curled hair, coiling around your face.

ألقيتُ رأسيَ في طيَّاتِه فَزِعاً

نظير صُنْعِيَ إذ آسى وأُفتأد

I laid my head within its folds, afraid,

Just as I did when I grieved and my heart ached,

أيّامَ إنْ صناقَ صَدري أستريحُ إلى

صَدرٍ هو الدهرُ ما وفى وما يَعِد

In the days when, if my breast grew tight, I found rest against

A breast that was time itself, all it had fulfilled and all it promised.

لا يُوحشِ اللهُ رَبعاً تَنزِلينَ بهِ

أظُنُ قبرَكِ رَوضاً نورُه يَقِد

May God not leave desolate a dwelling where you abide;

I think your grave a garden whose light burns bright.

وأنَّ رَوْحكِ رُحٌ تأنَسِينَ بها

إذا تململَ مَيْتٌ رُوْحُهُ نَكَد

And that your spirit is solace in which you find comfort,

When a dead man tosses restlessly, his spirit full of misery.

كُنَّا كنبَتةِ رَيحانٍ تخطَّمَها

صِرٌّ . فأوراقُها مَنزوعَةٌ بَددَ

We were like a basil plant ravaged by

A freezing wind, its leaves stripped off and scattered.

غَّطى جناحاكِ أطفالي فكُنتِ لهُمْ

ثغراً إذا استيقَظوا ، عِيناً اذا رقَدوا

Your two wings covered my children, and for them you were

A smiling mouth when they awoke, a watchful eye when they slept.

شّتى حقوقٍ لها ضاقَ الوفاءُ بها

فهلْ يكونُ وَفاءً أنني كمِد

So many dues to her, too great to discharge;

Can my grief count as repayment?

لم يَلْقَ في قلبِها غِلٌّ ولا دَنَسٌ

لهُ محلاً ، ولا خُبْثٌ ولا حَسد

Never did rancor or impurity find in her heart

A place, nor malice, nor envy.

ولم تكُنْ ضرةً غَيرَى لجِارَتِها

تُلوى لخِيرٍ يُواتيها وتُضْطَهد

Nor was she a jealous rival to her neighbor,

Tormented at good fortune coming her neighbor's way, and aggrieved.

ولا تَذِلُّ لخطبٍ حُمَّ نازِلُهُ

ولا يُصَعِّرُ مِنها المالُ والولد

Nor did she bow to a calamity whose coming was decreed,

Nor did wealth and children make her turn her cheek in pride.

قالوا أتى البرقُ عَجلاناً فقلتُ لهمْ

واللهِ لو كانَ خيرٌ أبطأتْ بُرُد

They said, 'The telegram has come swiftly,' and I told them:

'By God, had it been good news, the couriers would have been slow.'

ضاقَتْ مرابِعُ لُبنانٍ بما رَحُبَتْ

عليَّ والتفَّتِ الآكامُ والنُجُد

Lebanon's meadows, for all their breadth, grew narrow

For me, and the hills and uplands closed in.

تلكَ التي رقَصَتْ للعينِ بَهْجَتُها

أيامَ كُنَّا وكانتْ عِيشةٌ رَغَد

Those whose beauty had danced before my eyes

In the days when we were together and life was ease,

سوداءُ تنفُخُ عن ذِكرى تُحرِّقُني

حتّى كأني على رَيعانِها حَرِد

Now black, breathing forth a memory that burns me,

Until I seem to resent their luxuriant bloom.

واللهِ لم يحلُ لي مغدىً ومُنْتَقَلٌ

لما نُعيتِ ، ولا شخصٌ ، ولا بَلَد

By God, no place to set out for or move to pleased me

Once your death was announced, nor any person, nor any land.

أينَ المَفَرُّ وما فيها يُطاردُني

والذِكرياتُ ، طرُّيا عُودُها ، جُدُد

Where can I flee, when everything here pursues me,

And memories are fresh, their stem still tender?

أألظلالُ التي كانتْ تُفَيِّئُنا

أمِ الِهضابُ أم الماء الذي نَرِد؟

Is it the shade that used to shelter us,

Or the hills, or the water we came to drink?

أم أنتِ ماثِلةٌ ؟ مِن ثَمَّ مُطَّرَحٌ

لنا ومنْ ثَمَّ مُرتاحٌ ومُتَّسَد

Or you, before my eyes? There, a place to lie down

For us, and there a resting place and a pillow.

سُرعانَ ما حالتِ الرؤيا وما اختلفَتْ

رُؤىً ، ولا طالَ – إلا ساعةٍ – أمَد

How swiftly the vision changed, although unchanged were

The sights, and no more than an hour had passed.

مررتُ بالحَورِ والأعراسُ تملؤهُ

وعُدتُ وهو كمثوى الجانِ يَرْتَعِد

I passed the poplar grove, filled with wedding festivities,

And returned to find it trembling like a haunt of jinn.

مُنىً – وأتعِسْ بها – أنْ لا يكونَ على

توديعها وهيَ في تابُوتها رَصَد

Wishes—how wretched!—that no watcher should stand over

My farewell to her as she lies in her coffin.

لعلَّني قارئٌ في حُرِّ صَفْحَتِها

أيَّ العواطِفِ والأهواءِ تَحْتَشِد؟

Perhaps I might read upon her noble face

Which emotions and passions gather there,

وسامِعٌ لفظةً مِنها تُقَرِّظُني

أمْ أنَّها – ومعاذَ اللهِ – تَنْتَقِد

And hear a word from her commending me,

Or whether—God forbid—she would find fault.

ولاقِطٌ نظرةً عَجلى يكونُ بها

ليْ في الحياةِ وما ألقى بِها ، سَند

And catch a fleeting glance that would become

A support for me in life and all I face within it.