بقلبٍwith a heart حينَwhen منكto you دناdrew near تخلّىwithdrew
بقلبٍ حينَ منك دنا تخلّى
أُحِسُّI feel بشوقكlonging for you المملوءِfilled غِلّاwith rancor!
أُحِسُّ بشوقك المملوءِ غِلّا!
With a heart that withdrew when it drew near you,
With a heart when you approached, it abandoned
I feel a longing for you, filled with rancor!
I feel your longing filled with anguish!
لأوّلfor the first مرّةٍtime قاومتُI resisted ضعفيmy weakness
لأوّل مرّةٍ قاومتُ ضعفي
وقلتُand I said لماto whatever يُعيدُكbrings you back فيَّwithin me: كلّاno
وقلتُ لما يُعيدُك فيَّ: كلّا
For the first time, I resisted my weakness,
For the first time I resisted my weakness
And said to whatever brings you back within me: No!
And I said to what brings you back in me: no way
ذبحتُI slaughtered علىover غيابكyour absence نصفَhalf حُبيmy love
ذبحتُ على غيابك نصفَ حُبي
وأوسعتُand I overwhelmed "الحنينَthe yearning إليكfor you" قتلاwith killing
وأوسعتُ "الحنينَ إليك" قتلا
I slaughtered half my love over your absence,
I slaughtered half my love for your absence
And ruthlessly slew my yearning for you.
And I widened "longing for you" killing
وماand what تُغنيgood do مياهكyour waters فيin عروقيmy veins
وما تُغني مياهك في عروقي
وقدand already أحرقتyou have burned فيin عينيَّmy eyes طفلاa child؟
وقد أحرقت في عينيَّ طفلا؟
And what good are your waters in my veins,
And your waters do not benefit me in my veins
When you have burned a child in my eyes?
When you burned a child in my eyes?
إذاwhen اشتدّgrew fierce الحنينُthe longing وضجّand cried out قلبيmy heart
إذا اشتدّ الحنينُ وضجّ قلبي
علمتُI knew بأنَّthat صبرَpatience هواكin loving you، قلّاhad dwindled
علمتُ بأنَّ صبرَ هواك، قلّا
When longing grows fierce and my heart cries out,
If longing intensified and my heart roared
I know my patience in loving you has worn thin.
I learned that patience for your love is little
لعلمكfor your information لمdid not أُعاقبI punish غيرَother than نفسيmy own soul
لعلمك لم أُعاقب غيرَ نفسي
مخافةَfor fear أنthat تموتَit might die لديكat your side ذُلّاof humiliation!
مخافةَ أن تموتَ لديك ذُلّا!
Know this: I punished only my own soul,
I knew I would not punish anyone but myself
For fear it might die of humiliation at your side!
Fearing that you would die humiliated with me!
وحينand when هَجَرتُI left لمnot أكُI was مُستعداًready
وحين هَجَرتُ لم أكُ مُستعداً
لهذاfor this الموتِdeath، لكنْbut كانَit was حلّاa solution
لهذا الموتِ، لكنْ كانَ حلّا
And when I walked away, I was not ready
And when I deserted I was not ready
For this death—but it was a solution.
For this death, but it was a solution