الآن قد صح لي حقا بلا كذب — Al Tohami

الآن قَد صَحَّ لي حَقاً بِلا كَذِب

مِن كَثرَةِ الحُرفِ أَنّي مِن ذَوي الأَدَبِ

Now it has truly become clear to me, without falsehood,

from my abundant ill fortune, that I am a man of letters.

لأَنَّ لِلدَّهرِ أَحوالاً تَدُلُّ عَلى

أَنَّ الَّذي نابِهٌ مِنهُ بِمُنقَلبِ

For Time has ways that show

that the one it makes eminent is headed for reversal.

كَم قائل قَد رأى حالي وَقَد رَزَحَت

مَقالة صَدَرَت عَن قلب مُكتَئِبِ

How many a speaker, seeing my plight weighed down,

has uttered words from a grieving heart:

حَتّى مَتى أَنتَ لا تنفَكُّ مُغتَرِباً

تَعتاض مُرتَغِباً بِالبؤسِ وَالتَعبِ

How long will you remain a stranger far from home,

seeking gain, yet receiving misery and toil in exchange?

فَقلت ذر عَنكَ لَومي لا تَفندني

يَكفيكَ ما قَد أَقاسيهِ مِن النوَبِ

I said: Leave off blaming me; do not call me foolish.

The calamities I suffer should suffice you.

عَجائِب الدَهر لا تَفنى عَجائِبُها

ما الدَهر في فِعلِهِ إِلّا أَبو العَجَبِ

Time's wonders never exhaust their wonders;

in its deeds, Time is nothing but the father of marvels.

كَم مِن أَديبٍ غَدا وَالدَهرُ يعركه

عرك الأَديم بِما يَلقى مِن النَكبِ

How many a man of letters finds Time grinding him

as a hide is rubbed, through the misfortunes he meets.

وَكَم حمار غَدا وَالدَهرُ يَرفَعه

قَد داسَ أَعلى ذَرى كيوانَ بِالعَقِبِ

And how many an ass finds Time raising him,

till he tramples Saturn's loftiest peaks with his heel!

وَنالَ مِن دَهرِهِ ما لَم تَكُن خَطَرَت

بِهِ أَمانيهِ مِن جاهٍ وَمِن نَشَبِ

He gains from his age what had never entered

his dreams: prestige and wealth.

يا صاحِبَيَّ ذرا عتب الزَمان لِما

يأتي فَلَيسَ تَرى عَنهُ بِمُقتَضِبِ

My two companions, leave off reproaching Time for what

it brings; as you see, it cannot be restrained.

أَظن لِلدهر ثأراً فَهوَ يطلبه

مِنّي فَلَيسَ لَهُ شغل سِوى طلبي

I think Time has a vendetta, which it pursues

against me; it has no occupation but pursuing me.

إِذا ظَنَنتُ بِأَنّي قَد ظفرت بِما

أَبغي يقصِّرُني عَنهُ بِلا سَبَبِ

Whenever I think I have won what

I seek, it holds me back from it for no reason.

وَإِن عتبتُ عَلَيهِ قال لي أَنِفاً

أَلَستُ في عذلِهِ عَن جاهِل دَرِبِ

And if I reproach it, it says to me disdainfully:

Am I not practiced in reproaching it on an ignorant man's behalf? [Wording unclear.]

قَد حُزت مِن فاخر الآدابِ ما عَجِزَت

عَن نَيلِ أَمثالِهِ نَفس لِمطَّلبِ

You have gained such splendid learning as

even a seeker's soul could not attain,

مِنَ الحِسابِ وَمن علم الغَريب مَعاً

وَالنَحوِ ما لَم يَكُن فيهِ بِمُكتَسِبِ

in arithmetic and the knowledge of rare words alike,

and grammar—what he could never acquire.

ما لَو سَألتَ يَسيراً من تنقصه

بِنَيل نفسك ما تَهوى وَلَم تطبِ

Such that, were you to seek even a little reduction of it,

to win your soul's desire, you would not be content.

فَقُلتُ قول امرىء أَضحى لِعُسرَتِهِ

بَينَ البَريَّةِ مِن عَدم كمُجتَنبِ

I replied as a man whose hardship has left him

shunned among mankind because of poverty:

قَد كنت أَختار حَظاً استرِق بِهِ

مَن كانَ في حالَتي في العلم والأدَبِ

I would have chosen a fortune with which to enslave

those of my standing in knowledge and letters.

فَذاكَ أَروح لي من أَن أَرى نعماً

عَلى طغام بِها تَعلوا إِلى الحَسَبِ

That would be easier for me than seeing blessings

bestowed on rabble who rise through them to noble standing.

ماذا أُؤمِّلُ يُحييني بِهِ أَدبي

إِذا غَدَت راحَتي صفراً مِن الأَدَبِ

What can I hope my learning will sustain me with,

when my palm gains nothing from that learning?

ما نِلتُ مِن أَدبي حالاً حَظيتُ بِها

إِلّا ارتِسامي بِتَهذيبي لعقل صبي

I have gained no favored station through my learning

except being designated to cultivate a boy's mind.

أَظَل أَكسِبه عِلماً وَيكسبني

جَهلاً وُصِمتُ بِه في العجم والعَرَبِ

I keep imparting knowledge to him, while he imparts to me

ignorance with which I am branded among non-Arabs and Arabs.

فأن قعدنَ ربيَ الأَيامُ عَن دَرَكٍ

حَظاً أَنالُ بِهِ العالي مِن الرُتَبِ

So if the days hold me back from attaining [wording unclear]

fortune by which I could reach the highest ranks,

فالعُتبُ في ذا لِغَيري لَيسَ يَلزَمني

لأَنَّني قَد بلغت الجهد في الطَلَبِ

the blame for that lies elsewhere, not with me,

for I have exerted myself to the utmost in seeking it.

لي هِمّة كَضِياء الصبح مشرقة

في حِندِسٍ وَجِناني لَيسَ بِالنَخبِ

I have an aspiration radiant as dawn's light

in deep darkness, and my heart is no coward.

وَلَيسَ لِلمَرءِ في الأَقدارِ من طمع

وَالحرص في فائِتٍ يُدني إِلى التَعَبِ

A man can have no hope of altering decreed fate;

craving what has passed brings one to weariness.

حلبَت أَخلاف هَذا الدَهرُ مُنتَصِراً

فَلَم أَدَع فيهِما حَظاً لِمُحتَلِبِ

I have milked the teats of this age, seeking to prevail,

leaving in them both no share for another milker.

وَكَم تدرعت مِن بَيداء مُقفِرَة

في لَيلَة خِلتُ أَن الصبح لَم يؤُبِ

How many a desolate waste have I clothed myself in

on a night when I thought dawn would never return,

مِن طولِها وَرواق اللَيل مُنسَدِل

وَسحبها بركام الوَبلِ كالقُرَبِ

so long it was, with night's canopy hanging down,

its clouds, laden with heaps of rain, like waterskins!

لا يَهتَدي الريح فيها من مسالكها

بَينَ الضَحا ضح من وهد ومن كثبِ

Even the wind cannot find its way through its tracks,

among shallow pools, hollows, and dunes.

لا تَهتَدي الجنُّ فيها من تفاوتها

ولا يتم الصَبا بالوبل وَالحرب

Even the jinn cannot find their way in its uneven reaches,

nor does the east wind complete its course amid rain and war [wording unclear].

الجنّ قَد هجَرت أَكنافها فَرَقاً

وَالوحش قَد نفرت مِنها إِلى العُشُبِ

The jinn have deserted its reaches in terror,

and wild beasts have fled it toward the grass.

خلقت خَيفانَة صَوصاء قَد ذبلت

لقطع مهمها وَالنَجم لَم يغب

A swift, locust-like mount, slender and wasted, was fashioned

to cross its trackless wastes while the star had not yet set.

يَظلُّ يَهوي بِها وَالريحُ قَد عجزَت

عَنها اللحاق بِها وَالسيل في الصيب

He keeps racing onward with her, while the wind cannot

catch her—nor can the torrent amid the downpour.

وَكَم عسفت جِبالاً طالَما عجزت

عَنها الوعول من الأدغال وَالشُعَبِ

How many mountains have I forced my way over, long beyond

the powers of ibex amid their thickets and ravines!

أَهوي إِلَيها بِنَفسٍ غَيرَ خائِفَةٍ

صرف المنون وَلَو صارَت إِلى الهيبِ

I plunge toward them with a soul unafraid

of death's vicissitudes, even should it enter flames.

أَحتَلُّها وَالمَنايا في مَساكِنَها

مِثلَ ابن قفرة إِذ يَهوي إِلى سَربِ

I enter them while deaths lurk in their dwellings,

like a son of the wilderness plunging toward a herd.

وَكَم قطعت بِحاراً لَيسَ يَقطعها النَي

رانِ وَلا العالي مِنَ السُحُبِ

How many seas have I crossed, not crossed by the two

luminaries, nor by the loftiest clouds!

وَمؤنسي عَزمَةٌ كالصُبحِ مُشرِقَةٌ

وَصارِمٌ مُرهفُ الحدَينِ ذو شطبِ

My companion is a resolve radiant as dawn,

and a sword sharpened on both edges, with grooves.

مالي إِلى الدَهر ذنب أَستَحِقُّ بِهِ

ما نالَني مِنهُ مِن خَوف وَمِن شَغبِ

I have no offense against Time by which I deserve

the fear and turmoil it has inflicted on me,

إِلّا لأَنّي لال المُصطَفى تَبَعٌ

وَبَعدَ ذا أَنَّني من سادة نُجُبِ

except that I follow the family of the Chosen One,

and, beyond that, I am among noble, highborn lords.

إِذا التَضت نار حَربٍ ثار قسطلها

واحلولكت أَوجه الأَبطالِ للقضبِ

When war's fire blazes and its battle dust rises,

and warriors' faces darken before the swords,

وَإِن رَأيتَ رحاً لِلحرب دائِرَةً

كانوا لها دون هَذا الخلق كالقُطُبِ

and when you see the millstone of war turning,

they, of all these people, were its axle.

وَإِن خبت نارها فاعلم بِأَنَّهموا

بِحَدِّ أَسيافهم يَطفون للهبِ

And if its fire dies down, know that they

extinguish its flames with the edge of their swords.

كانوا على الدهر حكاماً بصولِهِم

وَالدَهر من خوفهم في ذل مُغتَصبِ

They ruled over Time through their onslaughts,

and Time, for fear of them, lay abject and overpowered.

حَتّى إِذا ما فَنَوا أَخنى بِكَلكَلِهِ

عَليَّ مُستَوفياً لِلثأر كالغضَبِ

Until, when they perished, it bore down with its breast

upon me, exacting full vengeance like wrath itself.

في الجَوِّ زهر علت لي همة سَبَقَت

لَكِن حَظّي بِها في عقدة الذَنَبِ

Bright stars have risen in the sky; my aspiration has raced ahead,

but my fortune there lies in the knot of the Tail.

أَتَيت مصر أَرجّي نَيل ثروتها

فرحتُ مِنها بأَفلاس مَع الجَرَبِ

I came to Egypt, hoping to gain its wealth,

but departed with bankruptcy and scabies.

فَلي بِها تِسع أَحوالٍ قَد اكتَمَلَت

أَرتادُ فيها مَعاشاً لي فَلَم أَصبِ

Nine full years have passed for me there,

seeking a livelihood, yet finding none.

يا نَفسُ صَبراً عَلى ما قَد حُييت بِهِ

فاستَسلِمي لِلقَضاء الحتم واحتَسِبي

O soul, patiently endure what you have been greeted with;

submit to the inevitable decree and seek your reward.

فَلَيسَ يَفديكَ وَالأَقدار جاريِة

وَالوَقتُ مُقتَرِب أَو غير مُقتَرِب

Nothing can ransom you while decrees run their course,

whether the appointed time is near or not,

لما تَخافي وَما تُرجى لما سَبَقَت

بِهِ المقادير عَمّا خُطَّ في الكُتُبِ

from what you fear or what is hoped for, once it has been foreordained

by destiny, as written in the books [wording unclear].

لا بُدَ مِن فرجٍ يأتي عَلى قنطٍ

تَحظي بِهِ فاصبري يا نَفسُ وارتَقبي

Relief must surely come after despair,

which you will enjoy; be patient, O soul, and wait.

إِمّا بلوغَ أَمانٍ تَنعَمينَ بِها

أَو نَيلَ منزلة تَشفي من الرِيب

Either attaining hopes in which you may delight,

or gaining a station that cures doubt,

أَولا فَمَوتٌ مُريح لا مَردَّ لَهُ

فَأنَّ إِحداهُما يُعفي مِنَ التَعَبِ

or else a restful death that cannot be turned back;

for one of the two releases you from weariness.

وَاللَهُ أَولى بِما يَأَتي وَلَيسَ لَهُ

معارض في الَّذي يَختار من أَرب

God is the rightful arbiter of what comes, and He has no

challenger in whatever purpose He chooses.

لَكِنَّني أَسأل الرحمَن لي فرجاً

مِمّا أقاسيه مِن كَدِّ وَمِن نَصَبِ

Yet I ask the Merciful One for relief

from the toil and exhaustion I endure.

فَهوَ المُجيب لما نَدعوهُ عَن كَرَمٍ

إِن لَم يُجِبنا لما نَهوي فمن يُجِبِ

For He, in His generosity, answers what we ask Him;

if He does not answer us in what we desire, who will?