إلىto الصديقthe friend خفاجفيapparently 'Khafaji, in' عوالمهhis worlds
إلى الصديق خفاجفي عوالمه
ماwhat بينbetween شاهقtowering أبحاثresearch وأسفارand tomes
ما بين شاهق أبحاث وأسفار
To the friend Khafaji, in his worlds,
To my friend in his worlds
amid towering research and tomes,
Between towering research and journeys
أبثّI pour out منof لوعتيmy anguish ماwhat فاضoverflowed عنbeyond كلميmy words
أبثّ من لوعتي ما فاض عن كلمي
وإنand though تحجبit is veiled فيin مكنوزthe hoard إضماريmy hidden thoughts
وإن تحجب في مكنوز إضماري
I pour out of my anguish what has overflowed beyond my words,
I pour from my agony what overflows my words
though it is veiled in the hoard of my hidden thoughts.
Even if hidden in my innermost thoughts
تجمّعتgathered غصصchoking sorrows الدنياthe world وماand not فتئتceased
تجمّعت غصص الدنيا وما فتئت
حرباat war عليّagainst me وعادتنيand showed me enmity لإيثاريfor my selflessness
حربا عليّ وعادتني لإيثاري
The world's choking sorrows have gathered, and remain
The sorrows of life gathered and did not cease
at war against me, hostile to me for my selflessness.
Waging war on me and making me prefer
فإنfor even if أعشI live فيin جنانgardens كلهاall of them عجبwonder
فإن أعش في جنان كلها عجب
فإنthen indeed قلبيmy heart بالتعذيبunder torture فيin النارthe fire
فإن قلبي بالتعذيب في النار
For even if I live in gardens wholly filled with wonder,
If I live in gardens full of wonders
my heart, under torture, is in the fire.
My heart is tortured by fire
قدindeed ضيّعتruined عصبةa crew للنقلfor transport مكتبتيmy library
قد ضيّعت عصبة للنقل مكتبتي
ياO عصبةcrew النقلthe transport قدindeed خلدتyou became immortal فيin العارdisgrace
يا عصبة النقل قد خلدت في العار
A crew of movers has ruined my library;
A moving company lost my library
O crew of movers, you are immortalized in disgrace.
Oh moving company, you are eternally disgraced
وضيعand ruined النقلthe move رزقاa livelihood كانwas ليfor me سنداa support
وضيع النقل رزقا كان لي سندا
كأنماas though الدهرTime مشغولbusy بإفقاريwith impoverishing me
كأنما الدهر مشغول بإفقاري
And the move destroyed a livelihood that had sustained me,
The loss of income was my support
as though Time were busy impoverishing me.
As if time was set on impoverishing me
وضيعand ruined الهمworry نزراa scant remnant كانwas عافيتيmy health
وضيع الهم نزرا كان عافيتي
فماso not انتفعتI benefited بسكانfrom residents ولاnor جارa neighbor
فما انتفعت بسكان ولا جار
And worry destroyed the scant remnant of my health;
The worries lost a blessing that was my health
so neither residents nor a neighbor were of any help to me.
So I did not benefit from residences or neighbors
وصارand became دينيmy debt رفيقاa companion لاnot يفارقنيleaves me
وصار ديني رفيقا لا يفارقني
وكانand had ودّعهbidden it farewell أوor كادnearly did إنذاريmy warning
وكان ودّعه أو كاد إنذاري
And my debt became a companion that never leaves me,
And my debt became a companion that does not leave me
and my warning had bidden it farewell—or nearly so.
And had it bid farewell or warned me
وإذand when عرضتI offered لبيعfor sale كلall ماthat which ملكتpossessed
وإذ عرضت لبيع كل ما ملكت
يديmy hand خذلتI was let down كماjust as قدalready ضيعواthey ruined داريmy home
يدي خذلت كما قد ضيعوا داري
And when I offered for sale all that
And when I tried to sell all I owned
my hand possessed, I was let down, just as they had ruined my home.
My hands failed me just as they lost my home
أناI المعاقبthe one punished لاno ذنبsin جنيتI committed سوىexcept
أنا المعاقب لا ذنب جنيت سوى
بريmy kindness كأنas though عظيمgrave الذنبthe sin آثاريmy works
بري كأن عظيم الذنب آثاري
I am the one punished; I committed no sin except
I am punished though I committed no sin except
my kindness—as though my works were a grave sin.
My kindness as if that were my great wrong
ومنand among عجيبstrange things إذاwhen ماever (emphatic) الحزنsorrow يغمرنيengulfs me
ومن عجيب إذا ما الحزن يغمرني
لطمتهI slapped it مثلlike سباحa swimmer بتيارin a current
لطمته مثل سباح بتيار
And strangely, whenever sorrow engulfs me,
And strangely when sorrow submerges me
I slap it, like a swimmer in a current.
I beat it like a swimmer in a current
لمdid not أدرI know هلwhether جنwent mad قلبيmy heart فثيprobably 'in' (textual error) تفاؤلهits optimism
لم أدر هل جن قلبي فثي تفاؤله
أمor ماnot درىit knew خطبهits plight أمor أنهthat it is الداريthe one who knows
أم ما درى خطبه أم أنه الداري
I do not know whether my heart has gone mad in its optimism,
I do not know if my heart is insane in its optimism
or is unaware of its plight—or is the one that knows.
Or if it does not know its state, or if it is mocking me
لقدindeed تمرستI grappled عمريthroughout my life بالأسىwith sorrow فغداso it became
لقد تمرست عمري بالأسى فغدا
منيpart of me ومدand lengthened الأسىsorrow عمريmy life لأعمارinto lifetimes
مني ومد الأسى عمري لأعمار
All my life I have grappled with sorrow, until it became
My life has grown accustomed to grief so it became
part of me; and sorrow stretched my life into lifetimes.
Part of me and grief lengthened my life
لمنfor whom أعذبI am tormented ماwhat جدوايmy gain منfrom زمنيmy time
لمن أعذب ما جدواي من زمني
وماand what حياتيmy life ومنand who يعنيهit concerns him إكباريhonoring me
وما حياتي ومن يعنيه إكباري
For whom am I tormented? What do I gain from my time?
For whom is the sweetest of my times
And what is my life? Who cares about honoring me?
And what is my life, who cares for my aging?
لجpersisted stubbornly المراقبthe censor فيin شطبdeletion لأفكاريof my ideas
لج المراقب في شطب لأفكاري
ماhow كانwould have been أولاهmore fitting for him تثقيفاeducation بأفكاريthrough my ideas
ما كان أولاه تثقيفا بأفكاري
The censor persisted in crossing out my ideas;
The watcher was determined to erase my thoughts
how much better it would have been for him to learn from my ideas!
What I first cultivated with my thoughts
إنindeed الخيانةbetrayal للأوطانagainst homelands أخطرهاits most dangerous kind
إن الخيانة للأوطان أخطرها
حجرa restriction علىon الحقtruth أوor إرهاقoppression أحرارfree people
حجر على الحق أو إرهاق أحرار
Indeed, the most dangerous betrayal of homelands
Betraying homelands, the gravest of them,
is suppressing truth or oppressing free people;
Is barring truth or exhausting the free
وتركand leaving مثليone like me يعانيsuffers فيin تحرقهhis burning anguish
وترك مثلي يعاني في تحرقه
عارa disgrace علىupon الجيلthe generation لاnot ذنبيmy fault ولاnor عاريmy shame
عار على الجيل لا ذنبي ولا عاري
and leaving one like me to suffer in his burning anguish
And leaving me to suffer in my burning
is a disgrace to the generation—not my fault, nor my shame.
Is a disgrace on the generation, not my sin or shame