يا وهبُ يا صاحبَ البريدِ ألا

يا وهبُ يا صاحبَ البريدِ ألا

تكتبُ بالحادثِ الذي حدثَا

تكتبُ بالحادثِ الذي حدثَا

O Wahb, O master of the post, will you not

O messenger, O friend of correspondence, do not

Write of the incident that occurred—

Write about the incident which has just occurred

من ضرطةٍ خانك الحِتارُ بها

من ضرطةٍ خانك الحِتارُ بها

فمعَّرَتْ وَيْبَها فَتىً دَمِثا

فمعَّرَتْ وَيْبَها فَتىً دَمِثا

Of a fart in which your anal ring betrayed you,

Of a fart that betrayed its farter thereby

And so it disgraced—woe to it!—a gentle young man?

Exposing and disgracing a dainty young man

إن أنتَ لم تُخبر الإمامَ بها

إن أنتَ لم تُخبر الإمامَ بها

كنتَ كمن خان أو كمن نَكَثا

كنتَ كمن خان أو كمن نَكَثا

If you do not inform the Imam of it,

If you do not inform the Imam about it

You would be like one who betrayed, or like one who broke faith.

You would be like one who betrayed or one who broke a pact

لا تطوِ عنه الحديثَ مُحتشِماً

لا تطوِ عنه الحديثَ مُحتشِماً

فالاستُ في الحين تنطق الرفثا

فالاستُ في الحين تنطق الرفثا

Do not hide the tale from him out of modesty;

Do not modestly avoid talking about it

For the arse at times utters obscenities.

For the occasion calls for speaking plainly

يا طيبَها ضرطةً وإن خَبُثتْ

يا طيبَها ضرطةً وإن خَبُثتْ

وربما طاب بعض ما خبُثا

وربما طاب بعض ما خبُثا

How pleasant a fart it was, though foul!

How fragrant was that fart, though it stank

And sometimes some foul things prove pleasant.

And perhaps some foul things are fragrant

بيناك عند الوزير تخطُبُ في

بيناك عند الوزير تخطُبُ في

خَطْبٍ إذا الكيرُ قد نفى خبثا

خَطْبٍ إذا الكيرُ قد نفى خبثا

While you were before the minister, speaking of

While you were at the minister's, making

A grave affair, suddenly the bellows expelled dross.

A speech, when that fart categorically denied foulness

هَوِّنْ عليك التي مُنيتَ بها

هَوِّنْ عليك التي مُنيتَ بها

فإنها فَقحةٌ قَضت تَفَثا

فإنها فَقحةٌ قَضت تَفَثا

Make light of what befell you,

Make light of that which you were afflicted by

For it is an arsehole that has purged its filth.

For it was an immodest fart that blew away restraint

وَضَعْ قِناعَ الحياء عنك فقدْ

وَضَعْ قِناعَ الحياء عنك فقدْ

أصبحَ في أهل دَهرنا خُنُثا

أصبحَ في أهل دَهرنا خُنُثا

And cast off your veil of modesty, for it has already

Take off the mask of shame, for

Come to mean effeminacy among the people of our age.

Among the people of our time, it has become effeminate

قد بدرتْ سَبَّةُ الخطيب فما

قد بدرتْ سَبَّةُ الخطيب فما

لَجْلَجَ في قيله ولا اكترثَا

لَجْلَجَ في قيله ولا اكترثَا

The orator's disgrace slipped out, yet he

The orator's mockery has been unleashed, so

Neither stammered in his speech nor cared.

He did not mumble or show concern

هبها كإحدى هَناتِ أحمدَ إذ

هبها كإحدى هَناتِ أحمدَ إذ

يضرطُ في كل مجلس عَبَثا

يضرطُ في كل مجلس عَبَثا

Regard it as one of Ahmad's little lapses, when

Consider it one of Ahmad's melodies when

He farts for fun in every gathering;

He farts randomly in every sitting

أو ابن ميمونَ إذ يُضارطُهُ

أو ابن ميمونَ إذ يُضارطُهُ

جهلاً ولا يحفلانِ سوءَ نثا

جهلاً ولا يحفلانِ سوءَ نثا

Or Ibn Maymun's, when he trades farts with him

Or Ibn Maymun's when he farts ignorantly

Foolishly, and neither cares about ill repute.

And they do not care about the foulness of flatulence

بغلٌ وبغلٌ هذا يضارطُ ذا

بغلٌ وبغلٌ هذا يضارطُ ذا

لا صحَّحَ اللَّه تلكمُ الجُثثا

لا صحَّحَ اللَّه تلكمُ الجُثثا

A mule and a mule—this one trades farts with that one.

A mule and a mule, one farts at another

May God grant no health to those carcasses!

May Allah not bless those carcasses

وسائلٍ عنهما فقلتُ له

وسائلٍ عنهما فقلتُ له

هما نبيّا الضراط قد بُعِثا

هما نبيّا الضراط قد بُعِثا

And to one who asked about them both, I said:

I asked about them and was told

They are the two prophets of farting, who have been sent forth.

They are prophets of farting, commissioned