وأتتني الأربعون وما
نقلتُ عن زلة قدما
Forty came upon me, and I had not
And forty came upon me, yet I had not
moved a foot away from a single misstep.
moved a foot away from wrongdoing.
كلّما جدّدت عدّتها
جدّدت لي عدتي ألما
Whenever I renewed its count,
Whenever I counted its years anew,
it renewed my provision for me—in the form of pain.
my tally brought me fresh pain.
كنت أرجو أن أوافيها
قاطناً من توبة جرما
I had hoped to reach it
I had hoped to reach it
dwelling as a body formed of repentance,
cutting off sin through repentance [probable intended reading],
مصغياً للنُّصح أسمعه أُذنا
قد أوقرت صمما
listening to counsel, hearing it with an ear
heeding counsel, making it heard by an ear
that deafness had weighed down.
already weighed down with deafness.
فأبت نفسٌ قد اتّخذت
خصمها من جهلها حكما
But a soul refused—one that had made
But my soul refused; it had made
its adversary, through ignorance, its judge.
its adversary, out of its ignorance, its judge.
تركبُ الآثامدائبة
ثم لا تستشعر النَّدما
It commits sins ceaselessly,
It rides into sins ceaselessly,
then feels no remorse.
then feels no remorse.
يقظات كلُّها حُلمٌ
ووجود يشبه العَدما
All wakeful moments are a dream,
Wakeful moments, all of them a dream,
and an existence resembling nonexistence.
and an existence resembling nonexistence.
لو رأيت الذنب منصرما
لم أعدَّ العمر منصرما
Had I seen sin come to an end,
Had I seen sin come to an end,
I would not have deemed life spent.
I would not have reckoned my life at an end.
خالفت نفسي وقد علمت
وجنى قلبي وقد علما
My soul rebelled, though it knew;
My soul disobeyed, though it knew,
and my heart transgressed, though it knew.
and my heart sinned, though it knew.
وعلى هذا فلي أملٌ
يرقبُ الإحسان والكرما
Yet despite all this, I have a hope
And despite this, I still have a hope
that awaits beneficence and generosity.
that awaits kindness and generosity.
Sol 6.1