ما بال نفس تطيل شكواها — Al Ghazali

What ails a soul that prolongs her complaints

To humankind, while putting her hope in God?

Her complaining corrupts her sincerity;

That is what frightened her and brought her to ruin.

Had she drawn near to her Sovereign

And made her love sincere, He would have brought her near.

But she preferred His creatures [reading uncertain]

To Him, ignorant of Him, so He drove her away.

Her Lord made her poor [reading uncertain]; yet had she sought refuge

In Him rather than them, He would have provided for her [reading uncertain].

She complains to His creatures as though they

Held the power to help and harm her.

Had she entrusted her affairs to her Creator

And made her sincerity and reliance true,

He would have exchanged her cares for relief [reading uncertain],

And would not have let her grief endure.

She angers Him by pleasing His creatures.

Woe to that! How great her affliction [wording uncertain]!

Had she displeased the servants

While pleasing her Lord, He would have pleased her.

I have a soul whose nature I wish to describe,

So that you may know her character and her names.

Hear my description of her, that you might

Understand, O discerning one, her hidden meaning.

She pursues diversion: it is her goal.

Woe to her! How harmful her pursuit!

I rebuke her, yet she defies me,

As though I were not one who loved her [reading uncertain].

Foolishly she looks at the faults of others,

And forgets how many faults she has herself.

She has wronged me through her grievous stumbling,

Leaving me neither piety nor standing.

Much given to idle talk in her gatherings,

Little given to remembrance in her place of prayer;

Offering little thanks when blessed,

Showing little patience when afflicted;

Slow to strive for her own good,

Swift to rush into her calamities;

Much given to delay in her promises,

Lying in all her claims;

Clear-sighted about desire and its temptation,

Blind to the affairs of her hereafter;

Energetic when it is time for her pleasure,

Sluggish when it is time for her remembrance;

Drowsy-eyed when she is healthy [reading uncertain],

Greatly afraid when harm befalls her;

An ally of pride and ostentation—for

Her pride has corrupted her and driven her to excess;

Lavish in praise and acclaim for whoever

Raises her rank and her station;

Prolonging ugly condemnation of whoever

Makes her know her worth and her transgression;

Rejoicing in her food and drink,

And seduced by her love of sleep;

Recounting to people their faults,

Forgetting what her own two hands have done [reading uncertain].

How far my soul is from the soul of a young man

Who purified her through piety and cleansed her,

Taught her the right way and gave her insight,

Then fed her with lawful sustenance;

He made her stand on her feet in the darkness,

And her eyes poured forth tears.

Whenever she craved something, he trained her

Through fear of the One she worshipped, and eased her longing.

He disciplined her through fasting, so she was restrained,

Against her will, from her error and her enticements.

Remembering God and giving thanks,

Sincere in her inward thoughts and whispered prayers.

To God belongs the soul of a man granted guidance,

That sought refuge in her Lord, and He sheltered her.

Her Lord honored her and ennobled her,

And quenched her thirst with the waters of certainty.

She rose toward Him through her noble reflection,

Then He met her love with sincerity and purified her.

Such is the soul: if she calls in need,

He answers her swiftly and heeds her.

If she is tried by calamities, He gives her patience;

Or if she asks for what He wills, He gives it to her.

She is not like the rebellious soul I have,

Which I labor to command and forbid.

She disobeys the command of God.

Woe to me for what she has done—woe to her!

How can she return to her Lord, when

She has submitted to her devil, who has lured her astray?

Whenever I say, 'O soul, restrain yourself,

And be mindful of God in your affairs,'

She turns deaf to the truth, though she hears,

As though I did not mean her.

Had she known even some of what she was created for,

Her knowledge would have grieved her and made her weep.

Had she truly known God,

She would have set her goodness and piety right.

But her ignorance of her Creator

Has made her heedless of right guidance and distracted her.

Alas for my soul! Such lament is her due,

For her Lord has rejected her and brought her to ruin.

The pleasure of life beguiles her, and she does not

Know what her final outcome will be.

I can no longer bear her, and I restrain her;

Were it not for her, I would not disobey God.

Whenever I attempt obedience, she grows listless

And shows estrangement and aversion [wording uncertain].

I have entered into warfare with my soul:

She commands me to follow desire, and I forbid her.

We are like two rivals locked in combat;

I don patience as armor when I meet her,

While she challenges me with the army of desire.

What patience could withstand her battle?

If she grows timid in battle, desire emboldens her;

Or if she weakens in the clash, it strengthens her.

At times I fell her, and she fells me,

But she has the advantage when I meet her.

I love her, yet she is hostile to me,

As though I were not one who loved her.

An enemy I cannot bring myself to hate—

If only I could forget her!

Swimming in the seas of her temptation,

Kneeling within the curtains of her darkness.

I reckon that, if she refuses to agree with me,

She will lose both her faith and her worldly life.

O Lord, hasten her repentance for her,

And wash her sins with the water of piety.

If You, my Master, should punish her,

Who, then, could hope for mercy upon her?

Be gentle with her, then, and forgive her sin,

For You are her Creator and her Lord.