حنين — Jawahiri

أحِنُّ إلى شَبَحٍ يَلْمَحُ

بِعينَيَّ أطيافُه تَمْرَحُ

I yearn for a glimmering phantom,

whose images frolic in my eyes.

أرى الشَّمْسَ تُشْرِقُ من وجهِهِ

وما بينَ أثوابِه تجنح

I see the sun rise from his face

and dip between his robes.

رضيِّ السّماتِ ، كأنَّ الضَّمير

على وَجْهِهِ ألِقاً يَطْفَح

Pleasing of feature, as though conscience

overflowed in radiance upon his face.

كأنَّ العبيرَ بأردانهِ

على كلِّ " خاطرةٍ " يَنْفح

As though the fragrance in his sleeves

wafted over every thought.

كأنَّ بريقَ المُنى والهنا

بعينيهِ عن كوكبٍ يقدح

As though the gleam of hopes and joy

in his eyes were struck from a star.

كأنَّ غديراً فُويقَ الجبينِ عن

ثقةٍ في " غدٍ" يَنْضَح

As though a pool just above his brow

exuded confidence in tomorrow.

كأنَّ الغُضونَ على وَجْنَتيهِ

يكنُّ بها نغمٌّ مُفرِح

As though, in the creases upon his cheeks,

a joyous melody lay hidden.

كأنَّ بهامتهِ منْبعَاً

من النُور ، أو جمرةً تجدح

As though his head held a fountain

of light, or an ember throwing sparks.

كأنَّ " فَنَاراً " على " كاهل "

يُنارُ بهِ عالَمٌ أفسح

As though a beacon upon a shoulder

lit a wider world,

وآخَرَ شُدَّتْ عليه يدٌ

فلا يَسْتَبينُ ! و لا تُفْتَح !

and another had a hand clamped over it,

so it stayed unseen, and the hand stayed shut.

أحنُّ إليهِ بليغَ الصُمُوت

معانيهِ عَنْ نَفْسِها تُفْصِح

I yearn for him, eloquent in silence:

his meanings speak for themselves.

تَفايَضَ منهُ كموجِ الخِضمِّ

أو لحنِ ساجعةٍ تصدَح

From him overflowed, like the waves of the deep

or the song of a bird singing clear,

جَمالٌ . وليسَ كهذا الجمال !

بما بهرَجَتْ زِينةٌ يُصْلَح

beauty—and beauty such as this cannot

be enhanced by ornament's gaudy glitter.

كأنَّ الدُّهورَ بأطماحِها

إلى خِلقةٍ مِثْلِهِ تَطْمَح

As though the ages, with their aspirations,

aspired to a creation like him.

كأنَّ الأمورَ بمقياسهِ

تُقاسُ فتؤخذُ أو تُطرح

As though all things, by his standard,

were measured, then accepted or cast aside.

كأنَّ الوجوهَ على ضَوئهِ

نلوحُ فتَحْسُنُ أو تَقبح

As though faces, in his light,

came into view, proving fair or ugly.

يُداعِبُني إذ تَجِدُّ الخُطوبَ

فأمْزَحُ منها كما يَمْزَح

He teases me when calamities grow grave,

and I make light of them as he does.

يُشَدُّ جَناني بعَزْماتهِ

ودمعي بِبَسْماتهِ يُمْسَح

My heart is strengthened by his resolve,

and my tears are wiped away by his smiles.

ويُبْرِدُ نَفسي بأنفاسهِ

إذا لَفَّني عاصفٌ يَلْفَح

And he cools my soul with his breath

when a scorching tempest enfolds me.

ويَطْرقُني كلَّما راودَتْ

ضميريَ فاحشةٌ ترشَح

And he visits me whenever

a vile deed seeps forth to seduce my conscience,

وكِدْتُ أُطاحُ بإِغرائِها

فأحْدو ركائبَ مَنْ طُوِّحوا

and I am almost toppled by its lure,

then sing to urge on the mounts of the fallen.

فيمشي إليَّ وثِقْلُ الشُكوك

مُنيخٌ على النَفْسِ لا يَبْرَح

Then he walks toward me, while the weight of doubts

kneels upon my soul and will not leave;

وقد أوشكَ الصَّبرُ أنْ يلتوي

ويَكسِرَهُ المُبْهِضُ المُتْرِح

and patience is about to buckle

and be broken by crushing sorrow;

وحينَ تكادُ شِغافُ الفؤاد

بِسِكّينِ مُطْمِعةٍ تُجْرَح

and when the heart's inmost folds are almost

wounded by a temptress's knife;

وإذْ يُركِبُ النَفْسَ حَدَّ الرَّدى

عِنانٌ من الشرِّ لا تُكبَح

and when the soul is made to ride death's edge

by reins of evil that go unchecked;

وإذْ يعْصُرُ القلبَ حُبُّ الحياة!

وكأبوسُ حِرمانها المُفْدِح

and when the heart is wrung by love of life

and the crushing nightmare of being denied it;

فيرفعُ وجهي إلى وَجهِه

ويقرأُ فيه ويَسْتَوضِح

then he lifts my face to his,

and reads it, seeking clarity.

فأرجفُ رُعباً كأنَّ الحشا

تَخَطَّفَهُ أجدَلٌ أجدَح

And I tremble in terror, as though my innards

had been snatched by a red-eyed falcon.

وأفْهَمُ مِنْ نظرةٍ أنَّني

لشرٍّ فكَرْتُ بهِ أصْلُح !!

And I understand from a glance that I

am better suited to the evil I had contemplated!

وأنَّ الضَّميرَ بغيٌّ يجيء

لها " الَّليلُ " ما " الصُّبْحُ " يَستقبِح

And that conscience is a harlot, to whom

night brings what morning finds abhorrent;

وأنْ ليسَ ذلكَ مِنْ دَيْدَنٍ

لِمَنْ هَمّهُ عالَمٌ أصْلَح

and that such is not the way

of one whose concern is a better world.

فأنهالُ لثماً على كفّهِ

وأسألُ عفواً وأسْتَصْفِح

Then I shower his palm with kisses,

and ask forgiveness, and beg pardon.

أحِنُّ له : وكأنَّ الحياةَ

خضراءَ مِنْ دونه ، صَحْصَح

I yearn for him: as though life,

though green, were a barren plain without him.

أحِنُّ له : وأحبُّ الكَرَى

لسانحةٍ منهُ قد تَسْنَح

I yearn for him, and love sleep

for a fleeting vision of him that may appear.

أحِنُّ له : ليسَ يَقْوَى النَّعيمُ

وكُلُّ لذاذاتهِ مُرْبِح

I yearn for him: bliss has no power—

though all its pleasures bring gain—

ولا كلُّ ما نَهَزَ الناهِزون

من المُمتِعاتِ وما استَنْزَحوا

nor all that opportunists have seized

of delights, and all they have drained dry,

ولا كلُّ ما أمَّلَ الآمِلون

ولا مُخْفِقٌ منهُ ، أو مُنْجَح

nor all that the hopeful have hoped for,

whether frustrated or fulfilled,

لِتَعْدلَ مِنْ ثَغْرهِ بسمةً

بها نَسْمةُ الخْلدِ تُسْتَرْوَح

to equal a smile from his lips,

through which one breathes the breeze of eternity.

فيا ليتني بعضُ أنفاسهِ

لأمْنَحَ مِنْهُنَّ ما يُمْنَح

Oh, would that I were some of his breaths,

to bestow from them what is bestowed.

ويا ليتني " ذرّةٌ " عندَه

لأسْبَحَ في فَلَكٍ يَسْبَح

And would that I were an atom beside him,

to swim in an orbit in which he swims.

أحنُّ إلى شبحٍ يلمحُ

بعيَنَّي أطيافُه تَمْرَح

I yearn for a glimmering phantom,

whose images frolic in my eyes.